Dear spammer — all of you:
First, I’d like to tell you how much I appreciate your concern with my sex life. Thank you all the same, but I don’t need Viagra at the moment. I will keep you in mind just in case I do, however.
Speaking of, I’m also not in the market for midget sex, farm girls getting it on with the livestock, pantyhose bondage, or whatever the kink du jour may be. But again, I’ll keep you in mind, should that change.
As for vitamins, pseudo-steroids, and “holistic” meds, I’m sure I can more easily fill up my bathroom cabinet from one of the many local drugstores or Wal-Mart. After all, if I suddenly find myself jonesing for a Flintstones vitamin, I can run down the road and pick them up, instead of having to give you my Visa number and wait and wait and wait … and admit it, nobody wants to wait on their grape-flavored Freds!
Then all of you who write to tell me I (or my email addy) have won some lottery, well, go ahead and send me the bucks. But sorry, I’m busy, and I just can’t be bothered to click on your links to claim it.
Or those of you who seem to think I need another degree, well, I don’t. Read the blog if you don’t believe me. The last thing I want is another degree, but thanks anyway.
And I really don’t need any more software, nor do I need to know who has the lowest prices on outdated software (I know you hope I don’t notice that it’s outdated). I’m not interested in another cell phone, but if I ever am, I’ll run over to Best Buy, if it’s all the same to you.
Now if you don’t mind, I have a lot of spam in my inbox to delete.
