Right Wing Nation

You know the Mother Goddess vegan feminutjobs are up in arms about this:

Meat-on-meat sandwich spurring sales for Hardee’s

By JIM SALTER
AP Business Writer

ST. LOUIS (AP) — Move over ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise. Turns out the hottest new sandwich condiment is more meat.

At least that’s the case for Hardee’s, the St. Louis-based burger chain that unveiled its Philly Cheesesteak Thickburger in April. Hardee’s is part of Carpinteria, Calif.-based CKE Restaurants Inc., which announced Wednesday that same-store sales were up 5.6 percent for the four-week period that ended May 22.

And the biggest selling premium sandwich, according to Hardee’s chief of marketing Brad Haley, is the 930-calorie, 63-grams-of-fat Philly Cheesesteak Thickburger.

“It seems like it sort of captured people’s imaginations,” Haley said. “One of our theories is that one of the most popular hamburgers in America is a bacon cheeseburger, and this is one of the few times people have been able to get some other kind of meat as a condiment.”

The sandwich piles thinly sliced steak meat, Swiss and American cheeses, green peppers and onions atop one-third of a pound of Angus beef. Like its predecessor, the Monster Thickburger (1,420 calories, 107 grams of fat), the cheesesteak sandwich has been the butt of jokes from Jay Leno, Ellen DeGeneres and others.

Hardee’s, which offers five sandwiches with more than 1,000 calories, doesn’t mind.

The Philly Cheesesteak Thickburger “has generated national media attention as well as raves from our guests,” said Andrew Puzder, president and chief executive officer for CKE.

Hardee’s sister chain, Carl’s Jr., launched its own successful sandwiches recently, the Bacon Swiss Crispy Chicken Sandwich (720 calories, 35 grams of fat) and the Jalapeno Burger (700 calories, 44 grams of fat). Both Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s saw identical 5.6 percent sales increases over the four-week period.

The Philly Cheesesteak Thickburger was originally to be offered for three to five months. Haley said that despite its popularity, the company has not yet decided whether to keep the sandwich on the menu indefinitely. It sells for $3.99, or $5.79 with fries and a drink.

The sandwich wasn’t the company’s first use of meat as a condiment. Last year, Carl’s Jr. offered the Pastrami Burger for a limited time. Its success, and the success of the Philly Cheesesteak Thickburger, has CKE cooks looking at other meat-as-condiment options, but Haley declined to be more specific.

CKE operates 3,160 franchised or company-owned restaurants in 43 states and 13 countries, including 1,993 Hardee’s, 1,049 Carl’s Jr., and 102 La Salsa fresh Mexican Grill restaurants.

What? You mean they didn’t make a tofu sandwich for the sensitive crowd? How patriarchal of them! Awful!

LOL!

First, we had Hastert making an ass out of himself whining about the FBI search.

Then, Hastert seemed to regain his sanity and backed off.

Now, GOPs in Congress are threatening to impeach the Attorney General.

So are they trying real hard to lose in the November elections, is that it? Or are they just insane?

I’m a PHP code jockey, not a CSS geek, so I’ve run into a couple of problems when changing WordPress themes I thought I’d share.

• If you care about 800×600 standards, check any theme you install. Many themes show horizontal scrollbars at 800×600. If you want to use that theme anyway, and fiddle with the CSS widths, be my guest. If you don’t, switch themes.
• Check that new theme in both Firefox and IE. A disturbingly large number of WordPress themes “throw” the sidebar under the content — and nobody is interested in telling me how to fix this (on any number of forums, of supposed CSS gurus).
• Letter spacing works in IE if you specify absolute widths (like “10px”), but not relative widths (like “2em”); both work in Firefox (as they’re supposed to).
• Sidebars are a pain, simply because everybody does his theme differently from everybody else.
• Many of the “best” themes (according to whoever rates them in the contests), at least in my humble opinion, are ugly and unreadable.
• WordPress theme authors for some reason are not interested in expandable width (not necessarily full width) themes.

One of these days, I’m going to get a CSS reference and learn all this DIV stuff so I can write my own.

Oh. And the WordPress forum sucks, period, the end. Don’t bother going there for information. Use google instead.

I took too many photos to publish here, so they’re on my Flickr page here.

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“Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

“Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

“But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

President Abraham Lincoln
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
November 19, 1863

Linked to The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler, My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

Woodfire Pollo Alla Diavola with Aïoli

Because I live with a member of the National “I Only Eat Chicken Breasts” Association, I use breasts instead of halving the chicken — and I must say, it is easier. The keys to this recipe, which is tricky, are the marination, basting, and not overgrilling the chicken. I serve it with a risotto (you’ll see why below).

Two more things. Do NOT try this with boneless, skinless, or skinless breasts! Also, do NOT get the idea that garlic would be good in the marinade (it probably would, if it didn’t burn on the grill).

Marinade

1/4 c. extra virgin olive oil
2 T. balsamic vinegar
6 sprigs rosemary
1/2 t. ea: kosher salt, black pepper

Crush the rosemary to release the oils and mix with the remaining ingredients. Reserve.

Prepare the chicken. First, cut off the ribs with a heavy knife — the ribs would be charred to nothing by the time the rest of the breast is done, so leaving them is a waste. Reserve the ribs (you’ll use them to enrich the stock for the risotto). Now, press down hard on the breasts to break the breast bone so they will lay more or less flat.

Put two breasts each in those gallon sealable plastic bags, then distribute the marinade among the bags, suck out the excess air, seal them, and marinate the chicken overnight. The more the chicken marinates, the better it will be.

Start the hardwood fire (hickory, mesquite, or apple, whatever hardwood you can get) in your grill. When the fire burns down, move the coals to one side of the grill (this is so you get the benefit of cooking over the fire with less chance of flames from the olive oil in the marinade). Lower your firepan as far as you can (or raise your grill).

Sprinkle both sides of the breasts with ground black pepper (that’s the “alla diavola” part), and place them skin side down on the grill, but not directly over the coals. Baste them, then close the cover.

After ten minutes, turn the chicken, then baste with the marinade. Close the cover and grill for another ten minutes. Turn the chicken, baste, cover and cook for ten minutes. The chicken should be done, but check it. Remove to a plate.

Aïoli

6 cloves garlic, minced
2 egg yolks
1/4 c. ea: extra virgin olive oil and vegetable oil
1/2 T. lemon juice
salt

This is making mayonnaise (but no, you don’t want to use store mayonnaise — it bears no resemblance to the real thing). It isn’t hard, but it does require patience — and if you use a blender, you’ll end up with bitter mayonnaise, so do it by hand, with a whisk.

Mash the garlic and put it in the bottom of a bowl or similar container (I use those plastic mixing bowls with rubber rings on the bottom — the ring keeps it from moving around on the counter). Add the yolks, and beat them until lemon yellow.

Literally drop by drop, blend in the oil. Note that I did not say beat. If you overbeat, you end up with the same bitter product you do if you use a blender. The mixture will start to thicken. You can then add the oil in a slow trickle, stirring it in constantly, until all the oil is added. If it separates, you can either start over, or beat one egg yolk in a clean bowl and add the separated mixture just as you do the oil. If you follow the directions, it shouldn’t separate.

Mix in the lemon juice and salt to taste. Refrigerate.

Risotto

2 quarts chicken stock
1.5 c. arborio (short grain) rice
1 c. fresh peas
1 large sweet onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 T. extra virgin olive oil
parmesan
roasted red peppers, chopped
salt and pepper

First, simmer the ribs for several hours in the stock to enrich it (you can do this the day before, right after you put the chicken to marinate). Discard the ribs and reserve the stock.

In a large frying pan, heat the olive oil. Add the onion and reduce the heat to medium low (you don’t want to brown them). Heat the stock to simmering on another burner.

When the onions are transparent, add the garlic and rice, and turn the heat up to medium high. Stir to completely coat the rice, then add a cup of the stock to the pan.

You don’t want the stock evaporating away immediately but you also don’t want it to simmer. The stock should bubble. Stir the rice as it absorbs the stock. When the stock is almost all cooked in, add another cup and repeat. The rice should be al dente; when it is not quite done, stir in the fresh peas, and instead of adding the stock by cups, decrease to half cups, until the rice is done. Salt and pepper to taste, stir in parmesan, and garnish with roasted red peppers.

Off to Boalsburg for the day’s festivities.

It’s easy to fall for the oversimplistic “Red v. Blue” myth living in Indiana. Take away Bloomington, part of Indianapolis, and Lake County (The Region), and Indiana is as red as red gets. But living in Pennsylvania highlights the reductionist nature of the “Red v. Blue” dichotomy.

Pennsylvania is, technically, a blue state. If you live anywhere in Pennsylvania but Philadelphia (er, I have been corrected numerous times: locals call it Filthadelphia) or to a lesser extent, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, like Indiana, is as red as red gets. There are many examples; here’s the latest, from Altoona, just thirty miles down the road (hat tip to Club for Growth Blog):

ALTOONA- Inspired by a Los Angeles Angels fan who filed a lawsuit against the club because he did not receive a red nylon tote bag as part of the major league club’s Mother’s Day promotion last May, the Altoona Curve have announced that they will be holding Salute to Frivolous Lawsuit Night as part of their Sunday, July 2nd game at Blair County Ballpark.

The Curve’s salute to all ridiculous lawsuits ever filed will include the following:

• A Pink Tote Bag Giveaway to the first 137 men in attendance ages 18 and over
• The first 137 women 18 and over will receive lukewarm coffee so they will not burn themselves
• The first 137 kids will be given a beach ball with a warning not to ingest it
• Angels merchandise and novelty items given away throughout the game
• Honoring some of history’s “Most Frivolous Lawsuits” during the game

A grand prize drawing in which one fan will receive a “clue” and their own frivolous lawsuit.

Additional details will be announced later

“We realize that these giveaways as part of our Salute to Frivolous Lawsuit Night are fairly stupid and serve no real purpose,” said Curve General Manager Todd Parnell. “But if our fans don’t like them, then they can sue us!”

Other recent examples are here, here, and here — and never mind that liberal bumperstickers here are blessedly rare. Pennsylvania is as good an example as any state that it isn’t a “Red v. Blue” dichotomy.

It’s a Red - Blue continuum, with little islands of blue (urban areas) in a sea of red (suburban, exurban, and rural areas). I won’t post the county map, because everybody’s seen it. However, the result is that states aren’t red or blue; states are some shade on that Red - Blue continuum, mostly in the magenta range.

If Pennsylvania weren’t so sparsely populated (except for the cities), it would be as dependably Republican as Indiana.

No matter how many times we tell our dogs they wouldn’t like bacon, sausage, steak, whatever, and that dogs only like boiled turnips, they just don’t seem to believe us.

And they get stuck under the sink.

How much is Fast Eddie’s political machine paying that gutless POS Russ Diamond, anyway?

Castle Doctrine States:

• Florida
• Oklahoma
• Arizona
• Alabama
• Georgia
• Idaho
• Indiana
• Kansas
• Kentucky
• Mississippi
• South Dakota

To help enact a Castle Law in your state, check out NRA-ILA.

Ten miles SE of here, on the other side of State College, is beautiful Boalsburg. Founded in 1808, Boalsburg has preserved many of its original buildings. I know, you’ve seen picturesque, but Boalsburg raises picturesque to its own level, and reminds me of the small towns in the Shennandoah Valley in Virginia.

I really wanted to find a house in Boalsburg when we were house hunting. Alas, it was not to be.

Boalsburg is home to the Pennsylvania Military Museum, and claims to be the birthplace of Memorial Day:

In 1864, three women from the village Boalsburg walked to the village cemetery to decorate the graves of loved ones who had died in the Civil War. This simple act of remembering, which then became a local tradition, ultimately became the national holiday of Memorial Day.

Whether this is true or not, Memorial Day in Boalsburg — and by extension, Centre County — is far more than it is in most places, sadly. Here is the full schedule of events for the Memorial Day celebration in Boalsburg. That’s where we’ll be tomorrow. I’ll post pictures.

Now, if more towns and cities would take Memorial Day as seriously as the locals here do, we would have a stronger nation.

Linked to Stop the ACLU

I’ve been working in the yard. Note, now, the grasss is green (it won’t be for long). Look at this!

However, the yard really isn’t the point. You’ll recall that after the persimmon tree fiasco, I decided I wouldn’t plant except in the established beds. Well, the front one is packed full (there are things popping up in the empty spots). The peonies are just now starting to open:

In front of it, the gerber daisy is going full guns, and the first azalea bloom is open (it’s white, and at the bottom). The lillies seem to be happy, and the rose, after just sitting there and doing more or less nothing, has suddenly started putting out lots of new growth:

The clematis (white) has started to bloom, and the dianthus (white and purple, on the right) is blooming all over the place. The purple foxglove is budding.

The lavendar foxglove is also starting to bud, and as you can see, the black-eyed susans are spreading (I have these everywhere, all over):

The coreopsis has started to bloom and the lillies seem happy:

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been doing.

I’m used to moonbatty nonsense from the local rag.

The local rag isn’t as loony as some papers, but this time, they decided the best way to celebrate Memorial Day was to call sedition and treason “courage”

Here’s why I don’t subscribe to the local paper

Never mind. I’m too angry. The local rag decided to print an editorial called “Murtha merits courage award” on the Memorial Day weekend. Read it if you want.

Remember our fallen heroes.

Linked to Stop the ACLU

Posted here. Back after Mass.

All together now.

One
Two
Three

Awwwwwwww!

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I needed new glasses anyway, and then, my last pair broke. So for a while I was wearing the pair I got before them, my very first pair of glasses, that no longer work very well. I couldn’t read much, unless it was big print.

So I got new glasses — and I can read!

At Barnes and Noble, I picked up this book:

Great book — and if you buy it from Amazon by clicking on the image above, I get a little money. Every bit helps, you know.

This sums it up nicely:

Meanwhile, House Speaker Hastert wasted no time in demonstrating the GOP’s suicidal tendencies by making a large public to-do about abuse of congressional privilege…

Perhaps he was replaced by a double with no political training; nothing else seems to explain why he chose to take a bullet for Jefferson, assert a position that will look to the outside world like a defense of Congressional immunity from law enforcement, and work to confirm his party’s image as friendly to corruption. All within a day of the scandal breaking, no less. A competent politician would have taken this issue up via hearings at a later date, after this had played itself out - and still managed to get the message across to the FBI et. al., if he was on firm ground. The insularity, lack of foresight, and lack of competence on display is simply breathtaking. The GOP may have found its very own version of Howard “gift to my opposition” Dean.

Needless to say, the blogosphere offers a fast tempature taking; just when you think the GOP couldn’t do any more to alienate their voting base, they surprise you. The “Search Warrants: can’t touch us, but plenty good enough for you” meme seems to sum it up.

Read the whole thing — and follow the links.

It seems that Los Angeles has discovered that releasing criminals early isn’t a good thing (emphases this time are not mine):

Two weeks ago the Los Angeles Times published Releasing Inmates Early Has a Costly Human Toll. The article described LA County’s early release program and the disastrous results of putting convicted criminals back on the street prior to serving their complete sentences.

As a direct result of the article and the outcry that it caused, Los Angeles County Sheriff Lee Baca announced a policy shift in the program. Instead of treating first-time offenders and career criminals the same when deciding who to release early from jail, the Sheriff’s Department will now attempt to factor in their criminal pasts when making selections. Sadly, absolutely nothing is being done about the root problem at hand which is the circumvention of the system of judges, juries, and prosecutors who determine who should be in jail and for how long.

Patterico wants to know why the Californistanis didn’t do a bit of homework and look to the disastrous early release program in Philly. I’d say this is one of those things that don’t need research or homework.

Common sense. That’s all you need to know this is a bad — nay, a stupid idea. I can’t even begin to imagine the meeting where they came up with such an idiotic idea.

I know! I know! Let’s release the criminals early!
Hey, that’s a GREAT idea!
Oh, I think so too!
Jail is racist!
Social justice for all!
And the criminals will vote for us!

What a bunch of morons.

This time, you don’t even have to read past the headline. In fact, this could be used as a political litmus test, you know, one of those “What’s wrong with this picture?” questions — though in this case, it would be, “What’s wrong with this headline?” (hat tip to Vinnie):

Romania Gives Dracula’s Castle to Owners

Sounds like something Hillary Clinton or Chuckie Schumer would come up with. Oh, and if you don’t know what’s wrong with the headline, you’re a liberal; if you spot it, you’re a conservative.

It’s another one of those days. The forecast is thunderstorms — er, no. It did rain enough last night and early this morning that the ground is soggy, and some plants had a growth spurt. But now, it’s not even drizzling. To the west, the mountains are still barely perceptible through the mist, but to the east, the mountains are lit up by the sun. In another hour, all the mist will be gone.

It’s cloudy here — it’s sunny at the Mall. It’s a very pleasant 62 outside, and other than the gloom (which will be gone soon), it’s perfect weather.

From Rasmussen Reports:

May 25, 2006

Governor Ed Rendell (D) has opened his biggest lead of the season over challenger and political newcomer Lynn Swann (R). After being neck-and-neck with Swann in the previous four Rasmussen Reports Pennsylvania election polls, Rendell now holds an 18-point advantage, 52% to 34%.

He finally did start talking about issues — well, some issues, like property tax reform — but still, you get the sense he doesn’t really take this election seriously. For six weeks, we’ve been watching those Fast Eddie ads on television, and we have yet to see a Swann ad. Not one. And you can see the results: 52% to 34%.

Start campaigning.

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Pretty funny, not to mention on target for academic nutjobs:

Hat tip Stop the ACLU.

Hang Right Politics. Check it out.

This is a must read. Stop what you’re doing. Go. Read. This. Now.

Al-Gore, in Grist magazine (hat tip to the Corner, and of course, the emphasis is mine):

“I believe it is appropriate to have an over-representation of factual presentations on how dangerous it is, as a predicate for opening up the audience to listen to what the solutions are, and how hopeful it is that we are going to solve this crisis.”

This is the same kind of leftist moral bankruptcy we saw after each one of Mike Al-Moor’s movies was completely debunked, some variation on the theme: “You’re focusing on superficialities. Whether these details are true or not doesn’t affect the underlying truth of the documentary.”

Lies. The documentaries were lies. There is no “underlying truth,” just deception. And here, we have Al-Gore saying the same about his idiotic raving about the end of the world as we know it. And why, exactly, does he lie?

“I believe it is appropriate to have an over-representation of factual presentations on how dangerous it is, as a predicate for opening up the audience to listen to what the solutions are, and how hopeful it is that we are going to solve this crisis.”

To scare people. The Chicken Little liberal culture of fear at work again.

I’d done the wood chips on charcoal thing, and found it to impart a barely perceptible flavor, hardly worth the money. But then I discovered hardwood chunks, and that completely changed my grilling life.

Hardwood chunks are available at Wal-Mart and Lowe’s (and no doubt other places). Back in Indiana, Lowe’s carried apple and sometimes pear, in addition to mesquite and hickory. Mesquite and hickory are the only woods I’ve seen at Wal-Mart, here or there (and Lowe’s here only carries those two as well). I prefer mesquite (apple is my second favorite); I find hickory to be too intense and overpowering, but by all means, try it.

I find it silly to buy both a grill and a smoker. So I bought a grill I can use to either hot or cold smoke (actually, you can hot smoke on any grill), my Brinkman Professional. It cost me about a hundred bucks at Sam’s Club, and it’s the best grill I’ve ever owned. Here are the features you want in your grill:

• Double, side-by-side grills and firepans.
• Moveable firepans (the grills may also be moveable, but it is essential that you be able to move the firepans up and down, independently).
• Ventilation and thermometers for both sides.
• Heavy cast iron or steel grills.
• A mechanism for easy cleaning.

You need side-by-side grills with independently moving firepans for cold smoking, or when you are doing your whole dinner on the grill. The moveable firepans are important. You’re much less likely to burn yourself moving the firepan up and down (of course, this assumes there is a mechanism to do it) than you are moving a 500 degree grill up and down. You can also adjust the heat to some extent by moving the firepan up and down.

Ventilation is important to adjust the heat (many people don’t seem to realize that adjusting the heat is just as important on a grill as it is on a stove). The only thing my Brinkman doesn’t have is adjustable ventilation, but I adjust the heat by moving the firepans up and down, lifing the cover to allow heat to escape, and the amount of fuel I use. Other than that one thing, my Brinkman Professional is the perfect grill. The need for thermometers is, I feel, obvious.

A lot of grills have cheap metal grills. They won’t last, and you’ll end up replacing them. Get a grill with thick, heavy, cast iron or stainless steel grills. They’ll last as long as your grill, they’re easier to clean, and they do a better job of charring your food.

Few people think of cleaning the grill when they buy one — so when you shop for a grill, ask yourself how you’re going to get rid of the ashes. My Brinkman Professional has a drawer at the very bottom. All I have to do is pull it out, dump it, then slide it back in.

Now, on to smoking.

Hot Smoking

Hot smoking is basically using the grill as you would with charcoal, but using hardwood instead. Always keep the cover closed (but you should do that anyway to keep the grill hot, you know that, right?), just use hardwood instead of charcoal. Hot smoking gives you the char and consistency of grilled food, but a wonderful smoky flavor.

Hot smoke anything. Steaks, ribs, chops, chicken, hamburgers. If you can grill it, hot smoke it. And I promise that after you’ve done it the first time, you’ll never grill over charcoal again.

Cold Smoking

Cold smoking is a completely different cooking process from hot smoking. The food is not placed over direct heat, and the temperature should be always between 200 and 300 degrees. Cold smoking gives you a completely different result from hot smoking.

Cold smoked meat has a characteristic caramel color outside. It gives you very moist, juicy results, and a more intense smoky flavor than hot smoking. Cold smoking perfectly suits pork and chicken, both white, fairly bland meats that most of us prefer to be more or less done.

The thicker the cut of meat, the lower you want the temperature. This is because it will have to cook for a fairly long time to become permeated with smoke. If you cold smoke a pork loin, buy a single loin and not a tied double loin roast (that way, it will be half as thick). If you cold smoke chicken, flatten, halve or quarter it, or cold smoke chicken pieces.

I first remove the grill from the left side, where I light charcoal (I use charcoal to start the initial fire because here, hardwood is a bit more expensive than charcoal). You’ll need about twice as much charcoal as you’d use to grill, because you need the fire to burn for at least 2, if not 3 hours or more. While the charcoal is burning down, I place a cake pan of water on the firepan on the right side (where the fire is not); the roast (or whatever) will go on the grill above the water.

Oh. I almost forgot. My Brinkman Professional has a separator between the two grills that blocks the heat (and smoke). I remove this before I light the fire. Sorry about that.

I soak hardwood chunks in water while the coals are burning down. When the coals are grey, I drain the hardwood (make sure you do this completely — you don’t want excess water, because it will put out your fire). I place the pork roast on the grill above the water on the right side, then put the soaked hardwood chunks on the coals and close the lid.

Watch the thermometer on the right, or whatever side your meat is on. You don’t want the heat to go above 300 at the most, so adjust your vents accordingly (you can also move the fire down, which will descrease the heat somewhat). Every thirty minutes or so, check the grill; there should be smoke coming out of it. If not, add more soaked hardwood.

Now, by “smoke coming out of the grill,” I don’t necessarily mean huge clouds of smoke billowing out. That will happen if you don’t soak your hardwood, or when you’re hot smoking; wet hardwood gives off smoke over heat, but not mushroom clouds of it. You should see some smoke coming out of the grill. If you don’t, add more soaked hardwood.

There is no need to turn the meat because it’s cooking slowly, and not over direct heat. The lower the temperature, the smokier the final result will be. If your heat is around 200, check with a meat thermometer after three hours; if your heat is around 300, check after two hours. A pork loin should take about 2.5 hours at around 300.

The first time you do this, you will be amazed at the caramel colored exterior of your roast (or chicken). When you slice it, you will also be amazed at the rosy color inside and how juicy it is. Just wait till you taste it, though!

I would not cold smoke beef (the smoky flavor would be too intense). I would also not cold smoke fatty foods. Cold smoking lends itself best to lean foods that are otherwise difficult to cook thoroughly without drying them out, and because there is no direct heat, the fat will not cook off. I would not cold smoke goose or duck. Turkey cold smokes well.

Sausages also cold smoke well (despite the fact that they’re fatty). Cold smoke the sausages, then pierce them and grill them to melt off the fat. Or cold smoke them, then toss them in the refrigerator to grill and eat later.

Cold Smoked, Brined Pork Roast

Cold smoking gives you moist, juicy pork roast if you just toss the roast directly from the refrigerator onto the grill. But some years ago, I tried brining turkey, and was so impressed with the juicy results that I thought why not try it with cold smoking? The result, well, you’ll have to try it yourself, for the most delicious succulent pork roast imaginable. You can do the same with anything you’d cold smoke, like turkey (duh!) or chicken. Here’s the recipe:

Brine

1/2 cup kosher salt
1 T. molasses
2 T. brown sugar
2 quarts water, chicken stock, or vegetable stock
1/2 T. black peppercorns
1 stick cinnamon
2 t. allspice berries
2 quarts cold water

Mix everything but the cold water in a large pot and bring it to a boil. Take off the heat, cool, and refrigerate. When thoroughly cold, add the cold water. (Don’t be afraid of the large amount of salt; it won’t make your pork roast salty. Really, it won’t. Just don’t use iodized salt, or you’ll get a slightly chemical taste.)

Brining the pork roast

Place the pork roast in the bottom of a large pot and add the brine. Place in the refrigerator, and refrigerate overnight. Remove the pork roast when you’re ready to smoke it.

Cold smoke the pork roast using your favorite hardwood at as low a temperature (200 is best) as you can manage with your grill. Smoke should always be coming out of your grill. If it is not, add more soaked hardwood, but other than that, do not lift the grill cover. Check the temperature after 3 hours, if smoking close to 200, and 2 hours, if smoking close to 300. Remove roast when the internal temperature is 150, and let the roast rest at least a half hour before slicing (an hour or more is even better).

Side dish ideas: Roasted new potatoes with rosemary, grilled avocado halves (have you ever tried this?), grilled apple or pear slices, use your imagination.

Hot Smoked Guajillo Strip Steaks

I had this idea right before we moved here from Indiana, for a party I was giving (when the local supermarket had New York strip steaks on major sale). These are kind of like Mexican barbecued steaks — though there’s no “sweet” to the marinade. They are a bit spicy, but by no means hot. And they are seriously wonderful. This recipe is for six strip steaks.

Guajillo marinade

2 oz. (about a dozen) guajillos
boiling water
1 T. oil
1 t. each: ground cumin, ground black pepper, oregano
1 c. beef stock
1 T. vinegar (sherry vinegar if you have it)

Soak the guajillos in boiling water to cover for twenty to thirty minutes (but no longer than thirty minutes). Drain. When cool enough to handle, remove stems and as many seeds as you can, and drop the guajillos in the bottom of your food processor. Add about a cup of beef stock, and process until smooth (you may have to add a bit more stock; puree should be about the same consistency as heavy cream). Strain. (Yes, this is a pain, but guajillos are thick skinned chiles, and trust me, you don’t want to skip this; if you substitute a thinner skinned chile, like anchos, you can skip the straining.)

Heat the oil over high heat in a heavy pan. Add the strained puree. Yes, it will bubble and pop. Reduce the heat to medium, add the cumin, pepper and oregano, and stir it until it thickens and darkens. Remove from heat, add the vinegar, and cool to room temperature.

Prick all six strip steaks deeply all over on both sides, to allow the marinade to penetrate. Place two strip steaks in a sealable gallon plastic bag (doncha love those!), and repeat until all the steaks are in bags. Distribute the marinade among the three bags, smoosh it around so both sides are covered, and seal.

Put the bags in the refrigerator and refrigerate 4-6 hours. Do not marinate these longer, or the marinade will break the meat down, and give you mushy results. Remove the steaks from the bags, and shake off any excess marinade.

Build a hardwood fire in your grill (preferably mesquite). When the wood is burned down, grill the steaks with the cover closed, about three minutes per side for nice and rare. You’ll wonder why you haven’t been cooking steaks like this all your life.

Enjoy!

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I took the separator out of the middle of my Brinkman Professional, and started the fire in the left side at 2:00. When the coals had burned down, I added mesquite chunks, put a pan of water in the coal pan on the right side, and put a pork loin roast above it on the grill and closed the cover. I’ve been adding mesquite as needed (I just added some more), and the roast tests at 140. I’ll test it again in twenty minutes or so — I always take a pork roast off when it reaches 155 and let it sit a half hour or more before I cut into it. That way, it’s always perfect.

Here in a few minutes, I’ll go out into the garden and snip some rosemary, toss it with salt, pepper, olive oil and new potatoes, add some chicken stock, and throw it on the left side of the grill over the coals.

Meat and taters. It’s what’s for dinner.

This week’s Carnival of Education is posted. Check it out.

Got this on a mailing list. This is excellent news for those with English BAs and other worthless degrees. Enjoy!

AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT - CONGRESSIONAL ACT

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said Barbara Boxer. “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing.”

The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.

Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement “warehouse” stores (65%) The DMV also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%)

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million “middle man” positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as “Do you have any goals for the future?” or “Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?”

“As a Nonabled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,” said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills. “This new law should really help people like me.” With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Ted Kennedy, “It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation.”

From Fox (emphases mine):

Students at the University of Iowa are said to be outraged that a law professor teaching a course about the power of language had the nerve to read aloud passages of text including a certain racial epithet, reports the Des Moines Register.

So this “sensitivity” horseshit has gotten to the point that a professor can’t even read examples of what he’s teaching to his class? In this case, it’s the poor little offended students, who mistakenly believe they have some right not to be offended, who are the idiots, and not the professor. But it gets even stupider:

African-Americans in New York are complaining that a reading comprehension question on the state’s Regent Exam which asks about the benefits of European imperialism to Africa are racially insensitive, according to the New York Daily News.

Let’s see, civilization, representative government, the end of black on black slavery (well, in much of Africa anyway), the list of benefits goes on and on. But these idiots have been so brainwashed by multicultural crap they’re offended.

A student who took the test says she was outraged by a reading-and-question section that detailed how English colonizers of Uganda built irrigation system and wells.

So now we can be offended by uncontrovertible facts?

She was also upset by a passage that reads how Europeans were “endeavoring … to teach the native races to conduct their own affairs with justice and humanity, and to educate them alike in letters and in industry.”

Not once, but twice, reality offends her. Poor little baby. Send her to live in Africa for a few months, then see how offended she will be.

Esmeralda Simmons of the Center for Law and Social Justice at Medgar Evers College called the passages “beyond the pale.

Center for Law and Social Justice. This is what is known as a reeking pile of manure. A waste of taxpayer money.

If your appetite for PC idiocy isn’t satiated, head over to Tongue Tied.

From the American Council of Trustees and Alumni:

ACTA finds that “the kinds of politically extreme opinions for which Ward Churchill has become justly infamous are not only quite common in academe, but enthsuiastically embraced and rewarded by it.”

If they’d listened to me … well, see here. Speaking of:

The study concludes that “throughout American higher education, professors are using their classrooms to push political agendas in the name of teaching students to think critically.”

No! “Critical thinking” is nothing more than left-wing groupthink. Not to be cliché, but if I had a dollar for every time I’ve seen a faculty member invoke “critical thinking” when lamenting his students’ lack of America-hating leftie ideology, I’d have my own island in the Caribbean.

I may discard this one. We’ll see. I won’t go to the trouble of putting everything back in the sidebar or adding the plugin code until I decide if I want to keep it or go back to ther last one.

Eeeeuuuuuuw!

I always loved my brussels sprouts!

I repeat: Eeeeeeeeuuuuuuw!

We’ve had a couple of weeks in the 60s, and a couple of days that broke 70. But for the most part, every day has been in the 50s (it’s 40 right now), and for the last two weeks or more, grey and drizzly. Now, I haven’t complained because I was really sick of the cold, because I like sweatshirt weather, and because we really really really do need rain here.

But sweatshirt weather in the 50s is one thing; weather in the 50s with sometimes strong, cold winds is another. We get the latter as much as the former.

Today, it’s supposed to be 64 — and it’s beautiful outside, if chilly. And the rest of the week is supposed to be in the 70s!

Hallelujah!

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Forgive my cynicism, but with all this Chicken Little hysteria about “obesity!” all over the place, my first reaction is a derisive snort — then a sense of urgency about the health police passing idiotic legislation.

I already knew university students are for the most part not close to obese. And over five decades of life, but I don’t see more obese people. But hey, maybe there’s something to this, I thought, so I’ve been doing a little experiment.

It’s completely unscientific. I’ve just been paying attention to the people I see. Today, for example, I went to the Mall to see the people there (and do a walk around the Mall).

Funny, I didn’t see lots of huge people. I didn’t see lots of huge people at Hersheypark, either. And like I said, this isn’t in any way scientific, but if obesity were the horrible problem we keep hearing it is, and if it’s much worse than it used to be, then I should be seeing evidence.

You know, like on television, when on those obesity spots on the news they show huge person after huge person. If you watch those spots, you’d think everybody walking down the sidewalk looked like that.

But they don’t. And as far as I can tell, there aren’t more big people than there were in the 60s, the 70s, the 80s, or the 90s.

So I call bullshit on the howling about obesity — at least until somebody can show me where all these huge folks are hiding.

Though we’re within a 250-max radius of Pittsburgh, Philly, DC, Baltimore, and NYC, there isn’t much in a 100 mile or so radius, so trips are pretty much weekend trips, not day trips. The exception is Hershey, just under 100 miles southeast of here, and on Saturday, we drove to Hershey.

I didn’t know much about Hershey, other than it’s where Hershey is located. I was thinking chocolate, sort of Willy Wonka without the weirdness. I didn’t really know that there was an amusement park there — so I hadn’t done my homework.

The first thing I should say is that the drive alone is worth going. Beautiful, all the way there. There’s going down the mountain in the Bald Eagle State Forest, but that’s just nerve-wracking (as opposed to panic-inducing, like I-80 to Snow Shoe). It really is a breathtakingly beautiful drive — well, until you get to Harrisburg, which is ugly as hell, reminiscent of Knoxville. Hershey is next to Harrisburg.

So we got to Hershey, and came in on Chocolate Avenue. We saw the Hershey Attractions sign and followed it left. We came to a T. To the left was Chocolate World; to the right was the Zoo. We went to the left. We got there right after it opened, just after 10 am, got a great parking spot, and went to Chocolate World.

I still didn’t realize there was an amusement park, btw.

We took the tour, and that was a lot of fun. When you finish the tour, you’re lead down into the food court — and that’s good, because by that time, you have serious chocolate needs.

We left Chocolate World and followed the people down the hill. That was when it was obvious that there was an amusement park — except when we got to the gates, all I saw were people flashing tickets, so it looked to me like you bought tickets elsewhere. And I knew nothing about the amusement park, so I suggested we go back to the car and try the other direction at the T, and see what was there.

So we got in the car and headed back. It turns out that the T is just a loop, though we didn’t know that. We did pass the zoo, though I wasn’t really in the mood to watch monkeys beat off, so we kept going to see what else was there.

We came out on an expressway, with Hershey Attraction/Arena signs. We followed them — and I saw roller coasters! I love roller coasters, and suddently, the amusement park was a necessity. We kept following the signs and were doing fine, until we were waved the wrong way, into the parking for the arena, where there was a classic car show. After asking a woman working the parking lot directions, we got back to the same place we’d been before, but a little after noon.

It’s almost as large as King’s Island, and knowing nothing about the coasters (how many there were, or which were the best coasters and which were the wussy coasters), I walked toward the closest tracks I could see. We ended up at the Comet, a wooden coaster, and waited about thirty minutes to ride.

It ain’t The Beast.

The nearest coaster was the Sooperdooperlooper, and the line wasn’t long at all. I waited maybe ten minutes. The first part of the ride was fun, but the rest was boring. So we headed for other coasters.

If I’d done my homework, I would have gone into the amusement park as soon as we got there, and headed for Storm Runner, one of American’s top ten steel coasters. We finally found it (it’s a big track, and we had trouble figuring out where the line for it was), and the wait was going to be over an hour. So we went to the next one. Same thing. And the next one. Same thing.

We left, having only ridden the two rather boring coasters. Next time, we get there right as they open and head for Storm Runner first thing.

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Ah, that rich, vibrant culture liberals so love! Can we all have a great big Al Gore-esque multicultural group hug?

A SENIOR member of an Islamic organisation linked to Al-Qaeda is funding his activities through the kidnapping of Christian children who are sold into slavery in Pakistan.

The Sunday Times has established that Gul Khan, a wealthy militant who uses the base of Jamaat-ud Daawa (JUD) near Lahore, is behind a cruel trade in boys aged six to 12.

They are abducted from remote Christian villages in the Punjab and fetch nearly £1,000 each from buyers who consign them to a life of misery in domestic servitude or in the sex trade.

I suggest you only read the whole thing if you have the stomach for it.

Rick Moran is one of my favorite bloggers. He’s thoughtful, temperate, and nearly always right — as he is here:

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that those who wish to sit on their hands in November are acting like petulant, foot stomping, spoiled little children who are throwing a tantrum because they’re not getting their way and will therefore “punish” their party by staying home on election day. (“I’ll show ‘em! I’ll show ‘me all!”)

Then again, maybe I am.

Because in the end, like that little kid, there’s no where else to go and nothing else to do if you consider yourself a patriotic American. I make no apology for giving those of you who contemplate spitting on your birthright a good tongue lashing and a remedial course in civics. It is good to be reminded every once and a while how precious a commodity the democratic franchise is and that misusing it by employing the vote as some kind of political punishment for wayward legislators is selfish, cowardly, and in the end, self-defeating.

While some of you are sitting at your keyboards railing against the Republicans and dramatically announcing to one and all how you will teach them a lesson by staying home on election day, there are Americans in Iraq putting their hides on the line every day of the week so that you have the choice in the first place of either acting like a drama queen or a responsible citizen of the republic.

That really says it all. Read the whole thing, because believe it or not, it gets even better.

As I believe I’ve said before here, I have a thing about heights — and that’s a problem here. I’m getting to the point that certain stretches of road that made me break out in a cold sweat when we moved here don’t bother me much.

However.

Today, I thought, “We’ve been here ten months, and we still haven’t been all over the county,” so I said, “Let’s go to Snow Shoe.”

Before I go on, here’s a map of the county:

See Happy Valley? That’s where we live. Look to the left (west) and you’ll see Top of the County. Okay, now that should have been a big red flag — but I wasn’t thinking. So off we went, up 220 to I-80.

Scenic? Oh, very. Perhaps some of the most scenic roadway in the county. But that’s hardly the issue.

I get seriously freaked out driving on roads where just off the side of the road, it drops off. Guard rail, no guard rail, that has no effect on me. But I-80 … climbing was really bad, but then you get to the top and don’t go back down. You’re at the top (I guess that’s why they call it Top of the County) and you stay there.

This is a problem, you see, because there are no mountains to stop the cross winds. And the winds were very strong. However, I got to the Snow Shoe exit just in time, and we explored. It was coming back, well, I’m getting ahead of myself.

The rain started pretty heavy when we had just gotten to I-80. I was fighting the winds that were trying to blow us off the side of the road, everybody was passing me and throwing water into the windshield. The winds got stronger, I couldn’t see, I was fighting the urge to close my eyes (not a good idea when you’re driving), and I pulled over and said, “I can’t drive. You do it.”

So we switched, and just in time. Not a mile down the road, we started down the mountain, and there’s ONE LANE going down, with extremely high cross winds, and just off the road it goes down. I don’t mean a little down, I mean WAY down.

I had a panic attack. My heart was pounding in my throat, I was gasping for air, and completely freaked out. I closed my eyes and grabbed onto the door handle and said Hail Marys all the way down. Never am I taking I-80 anywhere again.

We all have limits. Driving to Snow Shoe is WAY past mine. It’s a good thing we didn’t buy a house there, because I’d never be able to leave.

Pics from the trip after I get back from 7:30 Mass.

In my early morning haze, I have made an executive decision. We’re pretty boring people. We tend to stay at home and not go out much — that’s age more than anything else. But here we are in a new state for nine months now, and we haven’t been anywhere.

Okay, part of the reason for that is that nearly everywhere is a weekend trip, since nothing is closer than a couple hundred miles (except Pittsburgh, which is about 170 miles). Nearly everywhere except one place, that is.

Hershey.

Hershey’s about 100 miles from here, down by the state capitol. Chocolate Avenue. Streetlights that look like Hershey’s Kisses. What more could you want? And it’s a day trip to the flatlands.

There’s the weather. A high of 68 (there, not here) and sunny. Then there’s the fact that in a week or so, my life will become anywhere from fairly unpleasant to extremely unpleasant. So I figure why not today — especially since after a week of “rain” our lawn is still brown and crunchy and it doesn’t need to be mowed (and I’m not making that up, either).

Don’t worry. I will take the camera. I just need to remember to transfer my photos from the trip and the trip back to my laptop and empty the card.

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I fear that we tend, when praising allies, to almost always single out Britain and forget our other “unilateral” allies — such as Australia. I say this with some shame and guilt, because I have done the same. So today, I’ll try to undo that just a bit, and praise Australia and John Howard. I’ll reproduce the whole thing, because newspaper articles tend to disappear quickly (emphases mine):

By Michael Gordon, Chicago
May 19, 2006

NO GLOBAL challenge could be secured without American power and purpose, Prime Howard John Howard has declared in a vigorous defence of the role played by the US since the September 11 terrorist attacks.

“Without American leadership, the trials and tragedies of recent years could be but a prelude of darker days to come,” Mr Howard said in an address yesterday to the Chicago Council on Foreign Relations. “With American leadership, we can build a better world — not just for us, but for all.”

Sharpening his call for the US to play a greater role in global affairs, Mr Howard told the council: “To the voices of anti-Americanism around the world, to those who shout ‘Yankee go home’, let me offer some quiet advice: be careful what you wish for.”

Mr Howard said the imperative of American global leadership was one of three defining truths “in this age of global opportunity and uncertainty”.

The other truths were that, “we live as never before in a world of blurred boundaries” and that liberal democracies had to respond with “a synthesis of interests and values; a marriage of national strategy with national character”.

Addressing specific global challenges, Mr Howard:

■ Reaffirmed the commitment to match the resolve of the US in Iraq. “Australia is with you. We will stay the course. We will finish the job,” he said.

■ Described Iran’s refusal to back down on its pursuit of uranium enrichment as a challenge for the United Nations.

■ Predicted that the emergence of a global middle class, particularly in China and India, would be one of the most momentous trends of the 21st century.

■ Defined China’s rise as the defining phenomenon of the age.

■ Praised Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, saying he was tackling the enormous challenges facing Indonesia robustly and admirably.

Mr Howard also said none of the problems in the Asia-Pacific region — including in the Taiwan Strait and on the Korean Peninsula — could be resolved, or even managed, without US leadership and engagement. He said the key to relations with China was “building on shared interests and widening the circle of co-operation, while dealing openly and honestly on issues where we might disagree”.

Acknowledging a greater wariness towards China’s growth in the US, Mr Howard cautioned that not only China needed to adjust to changing realities.

“The international community must also acknowledge that China is determined to succeed and to reclaim its place in the global order.” Before the speech, Mr Howard played down the personal significance of the glowing reception and lavish praise he received in Washington from President George Bush and others.

“I see everything that has happened over the past few days as a compliment to my country, not to me,” he said. “This is a wonderful endorsement of the importance of Australia to the United States, of the respect America has for Australia no matter who the prime minister is.”

Hat tip: Don Surber

From the PC police, who are apparently functionally illiterate. No citation. You just have to read it for yourself. Make sure you’re eating or drinking nothing, lest you spew all over your monitor.

How did these morons get out of high school?

The dependably conservative Pittsburgh Tribune-Review does not shy away from smacking conservatives when they go off the deep end — it’s one of the reasons I love this newspaper and read it every day:

For an insight into how brilliant was the Framers’ decision to write into the Bill of Rights the freedoms of speech and religion, look no further than the furor over “The Da Vinci Code,” which opens today at theaters nationwide.

Get a grip, folks. The best-selling, badly written Dan Brown novel turned into a dullish film by director Ron Howard is fiction.

 [ . . . ]

Can the church not say as does the soon-to-be archbishop of Washington, D.C., “This is a teachable moment”?

Do not rail, do not boycott, do not suppress.

Teach.

Indeed. And please, spare me the “buts.” The book is fiction. Sure, there are people who are too stupid to realize it, but that’s hardly Brown’s responsibility. And once again, social conservatives are addressing a symptom instead of the disease; the problem is a gullible popular culture that will swallow any nonsense, provided that it’s not Christiantity, and that it’s presented as “alternative spirituality.”

Like the Trib-Review said. Don’t whine. Teach.