Am I the only one who feels that it borders on disgusting that Tom Delay is lecturing everybody about how to get back in touch with voters on his blog?

No link. I have standards.

I’d suggest you go here instead.

Like when you see somebody making a fool of himself and you get all squirmy, that kind of embarrassing:

Mr. Biden is equally skeptical—albeit in a slightly more backhanded way—about Mr. Obama. “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” he said.

I’m going to crawl under my bed and curl up into a fetal position for a while.

I’ve been on the verge of doing this for about a week now. I’m in a pretty grumpy mood today, so I’m just going to lay it out.

If you’re one of those idiots that uses those intrusive, idiotic snap previews on your blog, I’m not going to be reading your blog or visiting until you take the damned snap previews down. I don’t give a damn what the page looks like. I don’t want popups. I’m trying to read your damned blog, but for only God knows what reason, you decide it would be a good idea to pop up a little preview to keep me from reading your damned blog.

You’re a frakking idiot if you use those damned previews. Period.

If you’re too damned stupid to figure out why those snap previews are counter-productive, see here (hat tip to Patrick Ruffini).

Anybody who hates Baltar will love this episode.

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John Fonte’s article in National Review: The Rise of the “Civ-Cons”:

At the level of highest principle civic conservatism emphasizes the Unum in E Pluribus Unum and puts American national cohesion over any group interest. The intellectual origins of civic conservatism can be traced to George Washington’s Farewell Address.

Citizens by birth or choice, of a common country, that country has a right to concentrate your affections. The name American, which belongs to you, in your national capacity, must always exalt the just pride of Patriotism, more than any appellation derived from local discriminations.

As Washington scholar Matthew Spalding of the Heritage Foundation puts it: “Above all, the Farewell Address directs the American regime toward Union, or unity, rather than diversity. America must be something more than a league of states or regions, a collection of various groups and interests.”

[ . . . ]

Thus, in terms of specific issues civic conservatives put emphasis on:

• the promotion of serious civic education, particularly an understanding of America’s foundations and history;
• the patriotic assimilation of immigrants without apology (the melting pot over the “salad bowl” and “mosaic”);
• the clear legal imperative that, in America, international law is subordinate to American constitutional law;
• the rejection of extra-territorial sovereignty for Native Hawaiians and American Indians (e.g., no exemption from state gambling laws) on the basis of race;
• the elimination of ethnic, racial, and gender group preferences in employment and education;
• the phasing out of bilingual education and bilingual ballots;
• the phasing out of American dual allegiance voting and holding office in foreign countries;
• the repeal of President Clinton’s Executive Order 13166 (enforced by the Bush administration) requiring multilingualism in all government documents;
• the end of so-called multicultural education.

Ace, in his typically hilarious style, accurately classifies liberals:

Liberals tend to fall into two categories, and sometimes both.

“I’m Too Complex For Categorization And Labels” Liberals. These liberals are so enamored of their amazing complex and unpredictably maverick minds they simply will not countenance the suggestion their mode of thinking, or emoting, falls into rather common patters generally associated with left-liberalism. They fetishize their one or two departures from the liberal herdthink consensus (”But I’m not opposed to private social security accounts!”), as if having a pair of weakly heterodox positions is enough to auto-excommunicate them from the Holy Mother Church.

Got news for ya: This isn’t called being “so complex as to defy categorization.” It’s called, simply, “being human.”

The irony here is that this argument is so self-defeating– they think they’re not liberals because they imagine that conservatives are so robotically Borg-minded as to not have any heterodoxies of their own. Thus demonstrating that not only are they liberal, they’re so goddamned liberal they’ve never even spoken to a single conservative.

“I Do Not Believe In ‘Liberalism,’ I Just Believe In ‘Common Sense’” Liberals. Here a liberal simply takes what is, demonstrably, according to every poll and every election since 1980, a left-of-center politics and simply redefines it as “centrist.” Only people to their far left are “liberals” (but they generally are never so impolite as to call them such).

If they’re in “the center,” that makes the majority of the country what, praytell? Well, they’re “outside the mainstream,” and ought not be included in the survey, as their opinions are so bizarre and hateful as to be not be worthy of consideration.

Read the whole thing. And while you’re there, be sure not to miss More Classic Cinema: Lt. Horatio Caine And His Partner, The Sunglasses Of Justice. Classic.

Snow all week, except for tomorrow (yes, it’s snowing now).

Wonderful.

Florida Masochist has had this up for some time now, and I’ve resisted linking to it because it’s heart rending. In memory of Daniel Thomas Jempty.

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No, not a recipe, but a very intriguing (though long) article on how nutritionism has replaced food, and how it has affected our culture and health.

I’m always astounded at the scams people fall for. Amazed. Do you remember that episode from maybe the third season of NYPD Blue where the scam artist was selling bags to women, the idea being that if they wore a bag on their heads — powered, of course, by a very expensive battery pack that had to be replaced once a month — they’d get prettier?

Sure, it’s reprehensible, but how is it different from this? The major water supply for the county is the Big Spring, a large mountain stream. A company called Aquapenn has been given rights to bottle and sell the water from the Big Spring (see here). So idiots here will be buying bottled water that is identical to the water that comes out of their tap.

Understand, I’m not saying Aquapenn shouldn’t be allowed to bottle and sell the water, nor am I saying that the borough shouldn’t be allowed to give Aquapenn a contract. I’m just a bit unclear on where separating idiots from their money becomes a scam.

Perhaps the NYPD Blue episode was a bad comparison — it is, after all, playing on women’s insecurities. But isn’t selling bottled water likewise playing on peoples’ insecurities, all the hysteria and fear that the so-called nutritionists and food activists have been creating for decades now? Tap water? Impurities! Chemicals! Eeeeuuuw!

Then while at the store — Wegman’s, to be specific — as I cruised down the aisle, my eyes happened to focus on the macaroni-and-cheese-in-a-box area. You can buy the classic Kraft in the blue box for $0.39 (or something like that), or you can buy some brand (it seems like it was Mary’s, or something like that) that’s organic for $3.99 — for the same size box. That’s macaroni and cheese in a box. Cheese powder in a pouch. So now we have organic fake food at (of course) premium prices.

I clearly went into the wrong business. Surely, I have some bags around here somewhere . . .

On the side of the quart of cream in my refrigerator, in small letters at the bottom, it reads:

Allergy warning: contains milk

Well, duh. So how long is it going to be before we see cans of Planter’s Peanuts with Allergy warning: contains peanuts on the label? Yes, I realize they want to avoid lawsuits, but the really idiotic thing about this is that the warning is in little tiny letters, under Heavy cream in great big letters. So the warning is for the idiots who missed the great big letters saying Heavy cream — and if they missed it, what’s it doing in their shopping carts? And why would putting Allergy warning: contains milk in teeny letters under Heavy cream in great big letters head off a lawsuit?

More bizarrely, however, is what’s on the label of this Dagoba free-range organic chocolate in the house (they publish a newsletter called — are you ready? — The Tao of Cacao — and they also have a warning on their label, Made in a facility that also uses tree nuts, milk protein, and soy, and I take it from the warning that now people are becoming so exceedingly “allergic” that being within ten miles of a substance will send them into a coma or something.) You know they’re wackos when you start reading the label: Dagoba is dedicated to the Art of Chocolate Alchemy: transforming cacao into exquisite chocolate through Full Circle Sustainabilityâ„¢: blending equity, quality, ecology and community. And of course, everything is organic and free-range and whatever other meaningless label that makes liberals wet themselves over how virtuous they are.

The really bizarre thing about the label, though, is the directions. Let me type them in, word for word, so you can see for yourself: We recommend slow heating one cup of milk or milk alternative on the stovetop till hot, stirring in a continuous clockwise circle eleven times, then eleven counterclockwise stirs. Continue with this stirring cycle until vapors rise. Whisk in 3 tablespoons of our mix and pour into your favorite mug. Cordials may be added to taste to create a wonderful after dinner drink.

Okay, it’s the stirring eleven times in one direction then the other thing I can’t figure out. Why does it make any difference which direction, or how many times — indeed, since you’re just heating milk, why stir at all? Does it somehow change the chi-energy of the drink? Is it some kind of feng shui thing? Will the chocolate taste better if we light some incense and smoke a bong before? And are moonbatty food directions the next trend coming down the pike?

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Have I ever mentioned what vigilant guard dogs we have? Minnie — our Queen Alpha Bitch of all Queen Alpha Bitches — is guarding the floor:

And Minnie, the puppy, is guarding the couch:

I let the chicken stock go all day yesterday and turned it off about seven last night (I started it around noon). I put it back on when I got up early this morning, and just strained it. But I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to make scalloped chicken today.

What that means depends on who you talk to. There are as many versions of scalloped chicken as there are insect species. To me, scalloped chicken must be baked, and it must have some sort of buttery crumb or cheese topping (also to me, it must have noodles, but I don’t count that as a requirement for bearing the title “scalloped chicken.”)

Here is a recipe for scalloped chicken. This is what I know as the minimal, most chicken-y, and least embellished recipe (and kids love this).

Scalloped Chicken

3 c. chicken stock
2 chicken breasts, 1/2 chicken, or 3 c. chopped cooked chicken
2 T. each: oil and flour
1/2 T. rubbed sage
1/2 t. each: salt, pepper, dried thyme
1/4 c. each: parmagiano, dried bread crumbs
4 T. cold butter, cut into bits
spanish paprika

Noodles

1 c. flour
1/2 t. salt
2 eggs plus 1 egg yolk

First make the noodles. Mix the flour and salt together, and make a well in the middle. Add the eggs and egg yolk to the well, and mix the flour into the eggs until the dough clears the sides of the bowl (depending on the humidity, you may need a bit more liquid, so add water by tablespoons if so). Knead the dough for at least fifteen minutes — the longer you knead it, the chewier the noodles will be. Cut the dough in half and for each half, flatten it, then roll it out to 1/8-inch thickness (the dough will be resilient — this is easier to do if you let it rest thirty minutes or so after you’ve kneaded it). Cut into noodles, toss to separate, and leave to dry while you tackle the chicken.

Preheat the oven to 350. Poach the chicken in the stock until barely done and reserve chicken (if you’re using cooked chicken, you can skip this step). When chicken is cool enough to handle, bone and chop. Bring the stock to a boil, add the noodles, cover tightly and simmer until the noodles are done, about fifteen minutes. Remove noodles and measure the stock. If you have more than two cups, reduce it over high heat until you get two cups. Reserve, and rinse and dry the pan, then place over medium heat. Add the oil, and when the oil is hot, the flour, and stir until smooth. Add the seasonings and the stock, and stir constantly until thick. Add the chicken and the noodles and pour into a baking dish. Mix the cheese and crumbs and sprinkle over the top. Dot with the butter, and sprinkle with paprika (this helps give a lovely brown color). Bake until bubbly and the top is brown, about 30 minutes.

You can do anything you want to this recipe, which is probably part of the reason there are so many versions of it. You can add asparagus. You can add mushrooms. You can add slivered almonds. You can add roasted red peppers or pimentos. Instead of using all stock, you can use part white wine, sherry, cream, use your imagination. You can change the seasonings. Be creative.

Chicken and Rice Casserole

My childhood was one church pitch-in after another — we were always going to chuch socials. The best thing about them, of course, was the food, though this was (ahem) the early and mid 60s, and cooking with Campbell’s soup was all the rage — something most sneer at these days (though I must say that I don’t miss the jell-o salads.)

This was one of those church pitch-in specials, and yes, it’s got Campbell’s soup in it — three kinds. This is one of the best of the genre, something I still make — with no shame whatsoever, I might add. The rice is wonderful, and the chicken is moist.

4-6 chicken pieces
1 can each: cream of celery, cream of chicken, cream of mushroom soup
1 1/2 cans milk
1 onion, peeled and chopped
2 stalks celery, chopped
2 c. rice
1 stick butter
paprika

Preheat oven to 350. Melt butter in a baking dish, then add the rice, onion, and celery. Mix the soups and milk, then pour nearly all (reserve about 1/2 c.) in the baking dish. Mix the rice, onion, celery and soup mixture and smooth out. Place the chicken on top, pour the reserved soup mixture over all, cover tightly, and bake for 1 hour. Remove the cover, sprinkle the top with paprika, and bake another half hour, until the top is golden brown.

It’s officially winter in this part of the country, with below freezing temperatures (and up here on the mountain ridge, painfully cold, howling winds — Friday, it got up to a balmy 15). Cold weather demands filling, satisfying food that warms both body and soul. So I bring you the Winter Comfort Food edition of the Carnival of Recipes.

We have some really wonderful submissions, too (and in some cases, I’ve taken the liberty of adding another recipe from one of the blogs, just because it sounded so good).

Main Dishes

Lisa’s Cookbook has a recipe for blackened walleye that I have to try.

I howled with laughter when I read the submission from Blog d’Elisson: A particularly vile, yet tasty, luncheon. Check it out!

While we’re on seafood, Everything and Nothing has submitted an astounding recipe for Andouille Sausage and Shrimp with Creole Mustard Sauce. Oh. My. Gosh. Since I live in a Jack Sprat household with regard to seafood, I’ll have to drop hints for an invitation to try this (hint, hint, hint). And speaking of astounding recipes — and serious winter food — check out the recipe for Fast White Bean Stew (I have to try this).

And here’s yet another thing I have to try (scallops are the exception to the Jack Sprat rule here): Pan-Roasted Scallops with Sesame Sauce, from In The Headlights.

Scribbit was also inspired by scallops to produce this (tell me you don’t want to try this right now): Scallop-Stuffed Peppers with Pesto and Parmesan.

Speaking of things I have to try, here’s another serious comfort food recipe, Turkey Shepherd’s Pie with Mashed Sweet Potato, from Keewee’s Corner.

And if pot pies are what you’re looking for, here’s another one from Thrifty Mommy: Savory Vegetable Pie.

Be sure to try this recipe for Honey Mustard Tenderloin from World Famous Recipes. Just reading it makes my mouth water!

Inspired or obsessed, Kevin Weeks created a masterpiece here: Stuffed Pork Chops with Caramelized Onions.

Chicken Recipes has submitted this recipe for Bloody Mary Chicken — which sounds not only incredibly easy, but intriguing as well.

Disease Proof has two recipes: Russian Corn Salad and Tomato Leek Greens soup, which also really sounds good. Check them out!

If you’ve never eaten posole, you’re missing out. Checkered Rooster has graciously shared the recipe here!

Sometimes, all you need to see is the title of the recipe: Vietnamese Chicken Noodle Soup, from Triticale. Do you people have any idea how hungry you get putting together this carnival?

Wow. A Geezer’s Corner submitted a paella recipe that really sounds good. While there, I looked around, and the geezer has a lot of recipes, some of which I’ve added, just because they really sound delicious. Try this Roasted Butternut Squash Soup with Coriander and Cumin, or this recipe for Sweet Onion Kielbasa (have I mentioned how much I love kielbasa?)

Speaking of paella, here’s a recipe that sounds wonderful: Spanish Chicken and Rice Casserole, by World Famous Recipes.

Speaking of great, Wise Bread has some really good tips for soup. Seriously.

Can it get any more homey than this? Third World Country has a recipe for Another Hominy Stew. I figured if this was another, there had to be a first, and I was right. Check out the Hominy Stew recipe while you’re there.

Eating on a Budget is on my wavelength, with this recipe for Homemade Tomato Soup (easier than my recipe).

Speaking of my wavelength, I’m afraid I overdid it just a bit with my submission. See, I started it last week, and I kept thinking of things to add, and well, it just turned into a whole lot of recipes. So I humbly and apologetically offer you Soups, Stews, and Bread.

Sides

Thrifty Mommy has submitted two of what I call serious comfort food: Crock Pot Macaroni and Cheese (I feel like a kid again!), and Sweet Potato Casserole. Thrifty Mommy has some very lucky kids!

We were woefully low on side dishes, so I tossed together a few recipes here. I hope you don’t mind!

Desserts

Oh boy! Not only did we get several submissions, but we got some seriously wonderful sounding submissions! I don’t know about you, but I love carrot cake — and Dewey’s Treehouse sent Blinky-Blink Carrot Cake (and links to this wonderful sounding recipe for Cinnamon Raisin Bars).

I’ve said before that I love almonds — and that probably my favorite thing of all time is coconut. And folks, I have to try Trinity Prep School’s recipe for Almond Joy Cake. Oh gosh . . . you have no idea what just reading this recipe does to me!

If you don’t want to bake, why not try one of my recipes for poached pears?

Speaking of chocolate, Coffee Works is well on her way to becoming the Tart Queen of Arizona with this recipe for Chocolate Marshmallow Tarts.

I’ve never been sure why, but nobody in my family made apple crisp. Apple crisp was a school cafeteria specialty (one of the very few, by the way). Start Cooking has a video and recipe for Apple Crisp — and did I mention that I love apple crisp, that I begged my mother and grandmothers to make it, and had to do with eating it at the school cafeteria?

Miscellany

I love bean dip. I love chile con queso. World Famous Recipes submits the two rolled into one: Con Queso Bean Dip.

One thing that seems popular here in Pennsylvania are homemade mixes (you see them some in Indiana, but not like you do here). You can even buy homemade mixes in stores here. Thrifty Mommy has submitted a recipe for Hot Chocolate Mix (and what’s more wintry than hot chocolate?) Yes, I know, hot chocolate isn’t technically a dessert — but isn’t it really?

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Me-ander is requesting submissions for the Kosher Cooking Carnival — get your submissions in!

Next week’s Carnival will be hosted by Thrifty Mommy (with the really lucky kids!) Submit your entries by 12 pm (CST) Saturday, February 3, here, or email your entries to recipe.carnivalATgmailDOTcom. If you’re interested in hosting the carnival, send a message to recipe.carnivalATgmailDOTcom with HOST in the subject line.

This has been a lot of fun — and now I’m really hungry, so I’m going to go cook something.

Even as a small child, I loved pears. Of course, in the rural area where I grew up, we ate canned pears (in heavy syrup) — which I still love. Now we can get a wide variety of pears at the supermarket, and over the years, I’ve experimented with them. Here are a couple of poached pear recipes you can whip up quickly and will always please.

Please use ripe pears. A lot of people seem to think you can poach rocky, unripe pears. You can, but you don’t get the richness of the ripe pear (gently press the stem end of the pear with your finger, and if it yields, the pear is ripe; ripe pears should also be fragrant). If most of the pears are hard, as they often are, put them in a paper bag and close it up, then let it sit a day or two on the counter (depending on how far from ripe it is).

For eating raw, the best pears, in my humble opinion, are the rich, soft, buttery, juicy bartlett and comice. For cooking, the bosc is ideal, as it is less soft and juicy; seckels and anjous are also good cooking pears.

Pears Poached in Red Wine

4 pears (preferably bosc, though seckels or anjous are also nice)
1 c. dry red wine
1/2. c. sugar
2 sticks cinnamon
1 vanilla bean, split lengthwise

First, make the syrup. Dissolve the sugar in the wine over medium heat, stirring constantly, then add the cinnamon and vanilla bean. Turn heat down low and prepare the pears. Peel, core, and slice the pears. Add them to the syrup. Poach the pears until soft, about twenty minutes. Remove the pears from the syrup with a slotted spoon, spoon them into serving dishes, and chill. Serve with slightly sweetened whipped cream flavored with a bit of vanilla. This syrup can be refrigerated and reused to poach more pears, and gets better the more you use it.

Pears Poached in Almond Cream

4 pears (preferably bosc, though seckels or anjous are also nice)
1/2 c. heavy cream
2 T. - 1/4 c. sugar
1 vanilla bean, split lengthwise
1 1/2 t. almond extract (not artificial!)
2 oz. slivered almonds

First, toast the almonds. Spread them thinly on a baking sheet and put them in a 350-degree oven. Toast until golden brown and fragrant.

How much sugar to use? It depends on what kind of pear you’re poaching. Bosc or anjou? Go with 1/4 cup. Seckels are sweeter, so decrease the sugar. Dissolve the sugar in the cream over medium heat, then add the vanilla and almond extract and turn heat down low. Peel, core, and slice the pears and add them. As the pears poach, spoon the cream over them every couple of minutes, until the pears are soft. Remove the pears to serving dishes, turn the heat up medium high, and reduce the cream until it thickens. Spoon over the pears and chill. Just before serving, sprinkle with the roasted almonds.

Or if you want raw pears, try this. Peel, core, and halve ripe bartlett or comice pears. Sprinkle with chopped walnuts or pecans and crumbled blue cheese, then drizzle very lightly with honey.

Went to the store, and that wonderful vegetable soup is simmering on the stove. We picked up a couple of those rotisserie chickens, and I’m going to carve off the meat and use the carcasses to make chicken stock. Tomorrow, we’ll have either cream of broccoli soup or chicken and dumplings.

My nose was buried in The Demon in the Freezer (which is just as much of a page turner as The Hot Zone was). I’m now going to bury my nose again.

This is well worth reading, and many thanks to Hugh Hewitt for posting it: From A Naval Academy Graduate To Senator Webb.

Roasted Garlic and Gruyère Mashed Potatoes

We’ve been through this before. No, there are no “peels” in the mashed potatoes. Disgusting. And no, there are no lumps, which is just as disgusting. The Baby Jesus cries when you make lumpy mashed potatoes, as do my mother and both my grandmothers from beyond the grave. And by the way, when I was a kid and we still lived in a decent, God-fearing nation, potato peels went into the bucket with the rest of the hog slop, where potato peels belong.

And by the way. I know what you’re thinking. No, these potatoes need no butter! The gruyère contains plenty of butterfat, and as is, these potatoes are quite rich — though if my mother had made these, she would have tossed a stick of butter on top and let it melt into yellow pools.

1 head garlic
1 T. olive oil
4 large potatoes, peeled and boiled until done
1/2 lb. gruyère (or Emmenthaler), shredded
milk

First, roast the garlic. Preheat the oven to 375, cut off the very top of the head of garlic, and put it (no reason to peel it) on a piece of foil. Drizzle with the olive oil, wrap up tightly, and toss it in the oven. Bake for about an hour, until soft. When cool enough to handle, squeeze the garlic out of the peel into a mixing bowl.

When the potatoes are done, drain them and add them to the mixing bowl along with the shredded cheese. Add a couple of tablespoons of milk. Beat at high speeed until smooth, adding more milk if necessary (or desired). Serve immediately.

Rotkohl

Gott im Himmel!

1/4 lb. bacon

1 large onion, halved and sliced
2 heads red cabbage, quartered and sliced
3 tart apples, cored and shredded
1 c. beer, Riesling, apple cider or chicken stock (I prefer half cider and half stock, but try them all and use whichever you prefer)
4 T. ea: red wine vinegar and brown sugar
1 t. salt
1/2 t. ground black pepper

Cook the bacon, drain, and crumble. Add onion, cabbage and apples to the bacon fat, and saute uncovered until the cabbage begins to soften. Add remaining ingredients, bring to a boil, cover and simmer for an hour.

Kentucky Bourbon Sweet Potatoes

4 sweet potatoes, peeled and sliced
4 T. brown sugar
6 T. bourbon
4 T. butter, melted
1/2 c. pecans

Arrange sweet potatoes and pecans in a buttered baking dish. Mix remaining ingredients together, then mix with sweet potatoes and pecans. Cover and bake at 350 for 30-45 minutes.

Green Beans As God Almighty Eats Them

Screw the chi-chi “tender-crisp” crowd. This is the way green beans are meant to be cooked — and eaten. Vegetarian? Don’t eat pork? Tough luck.

2 lb. green beans (fresh, please)
1/2 lb. ham, or jowl bacon, chopped
1 large onion, peeled and chopped
water, salt, and pepper

First, prepare the beans. You’ll at least need to snap off any tough ends, and if you bought string beans, you’ll have to string them. As you prepare the beans, snap them in half and toss them in a cooking pot. Add the ham and onion, about a teaspoon each of salt and pepper, mix, then cover with water. Bring to a boil, cover, and simmer for an hour. Uncover (you shouldn’t need any more water, but add some if you do), and simmer slowly until most of the pot likker evaporates.

Heavenly.

Gruyère Creamed Spinach au Gratin

This ain’t the German-American creamed spinach I grew up with. This is decadent. Seriously so. Sure to cause traumatic guilt in those prone to such things. I promise.

6 T. butter
1/4 c. flour
1/4 t. each: salt and pepper
1/2 handle turn freshly grated nutmeg, or 1 dash pre-grated nutmet (be careful — you can easily overdo this!)
1 c. heavy cream
4 oz. gruyère or emmenthaler, shredded
1 medium onion, peeled and finely chopped
4 cloves garlic, peeled and finely chopped
2 packages frozen spinach, thawed
1/4 c. Parmagiano, grated
1/4 c. each: bread crumbs and cold butter, cut into small bits

Preheat oven to 375.

Melt half the butter (4 T.) and mix in the flour until smooth. Add the cream and stir over medium heat until thickened. Add the salt, pepper, and nutmeg, and remove from heat.

In the remaining butter over medium heat, saute the onion until transparent. Reduce heat to low, and add the garlic and saute until it is also transparent (if you do these at the same time, the garlic will likely burn). Add the spinach and mix well.

Mix the spinach with the sauce. Add the gruyère, and put into a buttered baking dish. Mix together the Pamagiano and crumbs and sprinkle over the top, then dot with the butter bits. Bake until golden brown on top and bubbly.

Soup, stew and bread — the best way to warm up in the winter. So let me offer some of my favorite recipes, starting with the bread. Yes, I know, most supermarkets these days have fairly good bakeries and you can buy pretty good bread, but there’s nothing quite like making your own. So let’s get the bread out of the way first.

The following recipe is from Bernard Clayton’s Complete Book of Breads — the definitive text on making bread. Click on the image below to buy it from Amazon. If you make bread, you must have this book. And this is the only bread recipe you will ever need.

Pain Ordinaire Carême

This is the ultimate French bread. Dense, chewy, and delicious — and the classic flour, water, yeast and salt (and nothing else). This bread must rise three times, so set aside a whole morning to wait.

6 c. bread flour
2 packages dry yeast
2 1/2 c. hot water (120-130 degrees)
2 t. each: salt and water

1 baking sheet, greased and sprinkled with cornmeal, or 4 baguette pans, greased and sprinkled with cornmeal

Measure 3 or 4 cups of the flour into a mixing bowl and add the yeast and hot water. Mix for 10 minutes. Diussolve the salt in the water and add to the batter. Mix for 30 seconds or more.

Switch the paddle for the dough hook, and add flour 1/4 c. at a time until the dough forms a rough ball and cleans the sides of the bowl. Knead for 10 minutes. You can do this by hand, of course.

Put the dough in a large greased bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and let rise at room temperature for 2 hours until tripled in volume. Turn the dough out and knead it about 3 minutes, then return to the bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and let rise again at room temperature until tripled in volume, about 1 1/2 hours. Turn out, divide into pieces, and let rest about five minutes before shaping into loaves. For boules or round loaves, shape into balls, and place into napkin lined baskets. For baguettes, roll each piece 22 inches long and about 3-4 inches in diameter.

Cover loaves with a cloth, and leave at room temperature to rise until loaves have doubled, about an hour. Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 450, and put a baking pan in the bottom of the oven. Just before putting the loaves in, pour 1 c. boiling water into the pan and close the oven door immediately to create steam.

Make cuts in the tops of the loaves with a box cutter, place loaves in the middle shelf of the oven, and bake until golden brown, 25 to 30 minutes. Check by turning out a loaf and thumping it on the bottom, to see that it sounds hollow.

It can’t be said often enough: A stock-based soup is only as good as the stock you use! People somehow think that adding things to thin, relatively flavorless canned broth will make good soup. No, no, no, no, no! If you must use store-bought, then the only halfway acceptable product I’ve tried is Kitchen Solutions, in cartons (the crap in the organic food aisle is just as useless as the canned stuff). Ideally, use homemade stock!

French Onion Soup

Now this is a winter classic. I think the common practice of running it under a broiler is silly and pointless. The cheese is crucial. American swiss will not do. Buy gruyère (emmenthaler if you can’t find it) for this soup, and no, not parmesan! Make plenty of this, because people won’t stop eating it.

1 dozen large sweet onions, peeled and diced
4 T. clarified butter or rendered beef suet
2 quarts beef stock
4 sprigs fresh thyme
2 fresh bay leaves
4 black peppercorns
salt and pepper
good, dense, chewy bread
1/2 lb. gruyère or emmenthaler, shredded

Melt the butter or suet in the bottom of a large heavy pan, and add the onions. Cover, turn the heat down low, and sweat the onions until very soft, about 30-45 minutes, stirring several times to ensure even cooking (yes, it’s a lot of onions, but they will cook down). Tie the peppercorns, thyme, and bay leaves up in a double thick cheesecloth bag.

About the bread. You can either cut it into slices, or cubes. I prefer cubes because you don’t have to cut it up with your spoon. Either way, toss the bread on a baking sheet and dry out in a 300 degree oven while the soup is cooking (it stands up even better to the soup if you do this).

When onions are very soft, add the herb bag and the stock. Bring to a boil, turn the heat down very low, and simmer for at least 30 minutes to fully infuse the flavors. Remove the cheesecloth bag.

To serve, toss croutons (or bread slices) in the bottom of each bowl, top with shredded cheese, then ladle on the soup. The hot soup will melt the cheese.

Rhine Onion Soup

This is entirely my own creation, one of those fortunate accidents. I had stupidly started onion soup when I realized I was out of beef stock. I had chicken stock, and used it instead, and I also had a bottle of Liebfraumilch so I tossed it in. The Liebfraumilch really accentuates the nuttiness of the cheese, and it was phenomenal.

Follow the directions for the French onion soup, but use 1 quart chicken stock and 1 bottle Liebfraumilch or other Rhine wine.

Squash Soup

I was grossly offended by the squash soup I was served on Thanksgiving at the local chi-chi restaurant. It tasted like pumpkin pie, and it was dreadful. So here’s a squash soup recipe. Use small hubbards, butternut, spaghetti, or acorn squash for this soup.

2 1/2 to 3 lbs. squash
1/4 c. olive oil, plus extra for squash
6 garlic cloves, unpeeled
2 yellow onions, finely chopped
4 sprigs fresh thyme, or 1/2 t. dried thyme
1/4 c. chopped flat-leaf parsley
Salt and pepper
2 quarts chicken stock
1/2 cup pecorino, grated

Preheat oven to 375. Halve the squash and scoop out the seeds. Brush the surfaces with oil, stuff the cavities with the garlic, and place them cut sides down on a baking sheet. Bake until tender when pressed with a finger, about 30 minutes. Remove and cool before continuing.

If using fresh thyme, tie in a doubled piece of cheesecloth to form a bag (this makes it easier to get out later, and the fresh thyme leaves don’t get all slimy, as they are wont to do).

In a small skillet, heat the 1/4 cup of oil until hot, add the onions, thyme (if using dried), and parsley and cook over medium heat until the onions have just begun to brown.

Scoop the squash flesh into the pot along with any juices that have accumulated in the pan. Squish the garlic out of the peels and add it to the pot along with 1 1/2 teaspoons salt and the stock and bring to a boil. Lower the heat and simmer, covered, for 30 minutes.

Purée the soup in batches, then return to the stove to reheat. Salt and pepper to taste. Serve in bowls with the pecorino sprinkled on top.

Cream of Tomato Soup

This is one of those recipes I’ve had written on an envelope for years. The original called for all milk. I wanted a soup that recalled all the childhood memories of tomato soup, but was more grown-up, so I tried it first with half milk and half cream, then 3 c. milk and 1 c. cream, and both were too rich for the home-y memories of childhood soup. The proportion below worked perfectly for what I wanted. But the soup is perfectly nice made with all milk (we use only whole milk, by the way, so I cannot vouch for this soup made with nasty watered-down milk, like 2% or skim — and since I don’t eat fake food, I similarly cannot vouch for it made with soy milk or some other fake product).

5 T. butter
1 small sweet onion, peeled and diced
4 T. flour
3 1/2 c. milk
1/2 c. heavy cream
1/2 bay leaf
1 1/2 t. each: sugar and salt
1/2 t. baking soda
3 cups tomatoes, chopped (Use canned in the winter, or the summer if you can’t get homegrown)

Cook the onion in the butter over medium heat, stirring, until the onion is softened but not browned. Sprinkle the flour over stir and cook for 1 to 2 minutes. Slowly add the milk and cream, bay leaf, sugar, and salt and continue to cook and stir until slightly thickened. Stir the baking soda into the tomatoes. Add the tomatoes to the milk, and bring just to a simmer. Remove from the heat and put through a food mill or strainer — this is important, because tomato seeds are bitter and you don’t want even one in the soup. Reheat.

Cream of Broccoli Soup

Unlike Bush.41, I love broccoli. And this is one of my favorite soups.

2 heads broccoli
1 quart chicken stock
4 T. butter
1 c. heavy cream
salt and pepper

Prepare the broccoli. Cut the stalks off, and reserve the nicest florets. Peel the stalks, then slice them.

In a large heavy pan, melt the butter and add the stalks and florets (except for the ones you’ve reserved). Sautée over medium-high heat until soft. Add the stock, bring to a boil, then turn heat very low and simmer for 30 minutes. Purée the soup, return to the pan and add the cream. Reheat, and five minutes before serving, salt and pepper to taste and add the reserved florets.

Tomato-Garlic Soup

This is quick and easy and works great for the winter now that fresh basil is available year round.

2 T. olive oil
1 dozen cloves garlic, peeled, diced and smashed
1 #2 1/2 can crushed tomatoes
1 quart beef stock
2 bay leaves
salt and pepper
1/4 lb. pecorino, grated
fresh basil leaves, chopped

Heat the olive oil in a large, heavy pan. Sautée the garlic over medium heat until soft (do not burn!) and add the tomatoes, stock, and bay leaves. Bring to a boil, turn heat low, and simmer for 30 minutes. Remove the bay leaves, salt and pepper to taste, and serve the soup garnished with pecornio and chopped fresh basil.

Cream of Garlic Soup

It sounds severe, but everybody really loves this soup (and it’s an easy recipe to remember: Two of everything). Just be sure to follow the directions exactly!

2 c. each: beef stock, chicken stock and heavy cream
2 heads garlic, unpeeled but separated into cloves
salt and pepper

Put the garlic in your blender, and add 1/2 of the stock. Blend for a couple of minutes, to finely chop the garlic. Pour into a pan, add the remaining stock, bring to a boil, and simmer for exactly two minutes and no longer. Strain the soup through cheesecloth. Return to the pan, add the cream, and reheat. Salt and pepper to taste.

Kartoffelsuppe (Potato Soup)

2 T. butter
2 large yellow onions, thinly sliced
1 stalk celery, thinly sliced
6 slices bacon
1 t. each: marjoram and thyme
1/4 t. grated nutmeg
1 lb. potatoes, peeled and thinly sliced
1 quart chicken stock
1 t. salt
1/2 t. white pepper
chives (for garnish)

First, fry the bacon. Reserving the drippings, drain bacon slices on paper towels, and crumble. Reserve the bacon for garnish, with the chives. Add the butter to the bacon drippings, and over medium heat, cook the onions, herbs, and nutmeg until well mixed. Cover, turn heat down to low, and cook slowly about fifteen minutes, until the onions are very soft. Add the potatoes and stock. Simmer 45 minutes, until the potatoes are falling apart. Purée the soup in batches, return to the pan and season to taste with salt and white pepper. Garnish with snipped chives and crumbled bacon.

My Grandmother’s Vegetable Soup

No, there’s nothing vegetarian about this soup. We ate this all the time. I’ve never seen a recipe for this soup — I reconstructed it from memory, after watching my grandmothers, my mother, and yes, my father, do it hundreds of times. This soup is rich, delicious, and satisfying — and best of all, frozen vegetables work perfectly in it.

2 lbs. chuck, cubed
2 qts. beef stock
1 #2 1/2 can whole tomatoes
2 large onions, peeled and chopped
2 T. oil
4 each: medium potatoes. celery ribs, and carrots, all peeled and cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1 small can kidney or pinto beans
1/2 c. each: frozen corn, frozen green beans, frozen peas (feel free to toss in any vegetables you like)
2 bay leaves
1 t. chili powder (for just a little kick)
1 t. black pepper
salt (to taste)

Heat the oil over medium heat in a large heavy pan. Add onions, turn heat down low, cover and sweat until soft and cooked down. Remove onions and reserve. If necessary, add another tablespoon of oil, then turn heat up high and brown the chuck, a couple of handfuls at at time. Add the chuck and onions back to the pan, then add the stock. Break the tomatoes up in your hand and add them and their juice with the celery, potatoes, frozen green beans, and carrots. Add the bay leaves, chili powder, and black pepper (don’t salt until right before you serve it), bring to a boil, then reduce heat very low, cover tightly, and simmer for two hours, until the beef is falling apart tender. Add the beans, corn, and peas, and simmer for another fifteen minutes. Salt to taste (it will be bland) and serve.

To make beef stew, halve the amount of stock, and before browning the beef, dredge in flour mixed with salt and pepper (you’ll need more oil for this).

Sopa Azteca (Tortilla Soup)

I realize this isn’t exactly a winter soup classic, but it’s delicious, it warms the soul, and it’s fun to eat. This is a great soup for a party, by the way.

The soup is basically a pasilla-chicken stock, served with a variety of ingredients. Guests put the ingredients into their bowls with tortilla strips, then add the soup. Unlike most dried chiles, pasillas lose enough moisture that the dried chiles can be ground into a powder. This results in a very different flavor from pasillas made into a paste, and one I prefer in this soup.

By the way, if you make your own tortillas, make them a day or two ahead for the strips, or use store bought. Stale tortillas make better strips than fresh.

Soup:

1 qt chicken stock
2 chicken breasts
6 pasillas, ground
1 small package frozen corn
salt

Ingredients:

chicken breasts (above), deboned and diced
chopped chipotles in adobo
additional ground pasillas
shredded fresh spinach
Mexican cheese
Just about anything you want

Tortilla strips

tortillas
oil or lard

First, poach the chicken breasts in the stock until just done, about twenty-five minutes. Remove the breasts and cool, then shred. You’ll serve the chicken as one of the ingredients for guests to add to their soup. Add the ground pasillas to the stock and simmer while you prepare the tortilla strips and remaining ingredients. Add the corn about fifteen minutes before you’re ready to serve.

Heat a half inch of lard or oil until very hot in a heavy pan. First stack the tortillas, slice them in half, then slice each half crosswise into strips. Toss the strips to separate. A handful at a time, add the tortilla strips and fry in the hot oil. Fry them until they start to brown (you’ll need to taste one to make sure all the moisture has evaporated and they’re no longer chewy). Drain on paper towels and repeat until all the strips have been fried.

Put the strips, the chicken, and each of the other ingredients in its own bowl and put them on the table. Taste the stock and salt if necessary. Serve the soup, letting guests add what they want to their own bowls.

If you make parpikas (Hungarian) or goulash (Austrian), you must serve it with spätzle, so I’ve included instructions and recipes here.

I realize I’m more willing to spend time cooking than most, but every time I go to the store, I’m amazed at what people will buy to avoid even the most simple and basic tasks. Heat and eat mashed potatoes? Are you kidding?

While at the store yesterday, I saw boxed spätzle mix. Come on! Spätzle are even simpler to make than mashed potatoes, and they’re heavenly.

For those of you who are spätzle-challenged, spätzle exist all over central and eastern Europe (my pet theory is that they were invented by a tired housewife who needed to make noodles but had neither the time nor the energy). Spätzle are made from a very soft, sticky dough, almost a batter, that is “dribbled” through a spätzle maker (or a colander, if you’re a masochist) into boiling water or soup.

The only thing about spätzle is you really want a spätzle maker. You can use a colander (do not even think about trying to make them with a strainer, though), but a spätzle maker is well worth the money.

There are two types of spätzle makers I’m aware of: the cheap hand model (see pic below), which runs about ten bucks, and the “crank” model, which runs about forty bucks. The only thing about the cheap model is that once the handle comes out, throw it away and buy another (I’ve been through quite a few over the years.)

See the square bin? The base beneath it is like a grater with large holes. You put the batter in the bin, then move it back and forth across the base. As the bin moves back and forth across the holes, it cuts the spätzle and they drop into the water. Very simple.

There are two recipes here. The first is richer, and the second is homier. Both are great recipes.

Spätzle I (for 4-6)

4 eggs
1 cup flour
1 t. salt

Beat the eggs until frothy, then mix in the flour and salt. The dough should be very soft and sticky — halfway between cake batter and biscuit dough. Sticky, not a ball that cleans the sides of the bowl. Spoon the dough into the spätzle maker over the SIMMERING, not boiling, water and run the bin back and forth until the dough is all gone. SIMMER about five minutes, then drain and toss with melted butter.

Spätzle II (for 4-6)

1 c. flour
1 t. salt
1 egg
scant 1/2 c. milk (more or less)

Follow the same instructions as the first recipe, beating in the milk until you get the right, sticky consistency.

Austrian Beef Goulash

There was a great deal of cross-pollination in food between Austria and Hungary, though each nation adapted to suit its tastes (note the very different cooking styles between the Austrian goulash and the Hungarian paprikas). Goulash is Austrian; gulyas is Hungarian. Goulash is more soup-y than gulyas, and it a different entity, but a delicious one. The added vegetables, by the way, are not traditional; I have added them to make the recipe more acceptable to Americans (but feel free to leave them out).

You’ll note that there is no stock in this recipe — partly because the beef will make its own stock as the soup cooks, but mostly because the primary flavor in this recipe is the paprika. Please use only Hungarian paprika, such as Noble Rose; paprika that is not specifically labelled Hungarian is Spanish, and is comparatively flavorless.

4 large onions, peeled and chopped
1/4 c. lard or oil
5 oz (10 T) Hungarian paprika (Spanish has comparatively no flavor)*
2 qt. water
1 t. each: dried marjoram (1 T. if fresh), caraway seeds, black pepper
1 clove garlic, peeled and diced
grated rind of 1/2 lemon
3 lb. chuck, cubed
4 potatoes, peeled and cubed
1 c. green beans, in 1-inch pieces
salt (to taste)

In a large, heavy pan, cook the onions in the lard or oil over medium-low heat until soft and golden. Add the paprika and mix thouroughly, then add the water and the seasonings. Simmer, uncovered, for an hour. Add the beef, and simmer until the beef is almost tender. Add the potatoes and green beans, and simmer until the beef is tender and the vegetables are done.

Hungarian Veal Paprikas

Make this when the stew veal — the cheapest cut, btw — goes on sale.

1 1/2 lb. stew veal in 1/2-inch cubes
1 large yellow onion, chopped
3 T. bacon drippings, lard or oil (in that order of preference)
2 T. Hungarian paprika (Spanish has comparatively no flavor)*
1 14-oz. can diced tomatoes, drained
1 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped
10 mushrooms, sliced
2 T. each: heavy cream and sour cream**
1/2 T. flour

Saute the onions over medium heat, stirring frequently, until they begin to soften. Cover, reduce the heat to low, and cook another five minutes. Stir in paprika, veal, and tomatoes. Add about 1/4 cup water, cover, and cook over low heat for an hour, until the veal is tender. Add the bell pepper and mushrooms, stir, cover again and cook for 15 minutes, until the peppers are softened. Mix heavy cream, sour cream and flour, then stir into the paprikas. Cook a minute, just to get the “flour” taste out, and serve.

*Hungarian paprika comes in sweet (Noble Rose) and hot. If you like spicy, you can use a little hot (try a mixture of the two first), but I recommend Noble Rose for this.

**Please resist the temptation to increase this. Please. It’s so much nicer if you don’t turn this into sour cream with other stuff you can’t taste.

Note: A complete list of all my food articles is here (it’s a long list, by the way).

With the greatest respect for Tim Blair, I have to admit that I would probably be depressed if Sophia College were here, but since it’s in Australia, I find it hilarious. (And is this real? Can any accredited school these days have such an amateurish webpage?)

Sophia College — Holistic Counselling Courses
“Through Wisdom To Healing”

It’s already fairly moonbatty — but let’s peruse the site:

Introduction to Holistic Counselling
We base our holistic counselling on the anthroposophical model of a human being which incorporates the physical body, the subtle energy body or etheric, the emotional, mental and spiritual bodies. We use the anthroposophical medical system for the diagnosis and management of counselling processes.

Anthroposophical?

Introduction to Art Therapy
Artistic and Expressive Therapies are integral to our training. These include art work, movement, gesture, clay work, sandtray. Students can choose their preferred medium to incorporate in their counselling practice.

Graduate Certificate in Artistic Therapies (Expressive Therapy)
The Graduate Certificate is open to all professional counsellors and psychotherapists who wish to expand their clinic practice through the use of artistic therapies

Interpretive dance! — and you can get a graduate degree!

But let’s meet the Sophia College moonbats:

DIRECTOR OF SOPHIA COLLEGE

Dr Patricia Sherwood Phd, Grad Diploma (Special Education,) B.A. (UWA), Grad Diploma Arts, (counselling), PACAWA, SCAPE, PACFA, Advanced Diploma in Holistic Counselling (philophonetics)

College director & principal counselling theory and skills teacher. Dr Trish Sherwood also teaches in the Buddhist Psychotherapy relating to compassion and inter-being.

HOLISTIC COUNSELLING and ART THERAPIES STAFF MEMBERS

Reg Smith B.A., BA.App. Science (Psych), Grad. Dip. Psych. (Counselling), M.Transpersonal Psych, Dip. Private Subconscious Mind, Dip.of Holistic Counselling, member of PACAWA

Teacher: Graduate Certificate in Artistic Therapies in Sand Play.

Dr Jacqui Dodds PhD (W.Aust); BSW Hon. (Curtin); PACAWA; AASW (Accredited)
Psychotherapist

Dr Dodds is a psychotherapist in private practice and a counsellor/senior social worker in a rural community mental health team. Her work is eclectic, drawing on psychodynamic psychotherapy, Jungian dream work and sand play, narrative therapy, dialectical behavioural therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and bodywork to address a comprehensive range of mental, emotional and spiritual issues and illness.

So what’s this sandplay nonsense? Is playing in sandboxes the latest thing in NewAge therapy? Did they end up killing too many people with horse manure like “rebirthing” therapy?

And let’s see the moonbats:

They’re all wigged out — literally!

Clearly, Dr. Madeline Daniels would be right at home there.

Folks, this is an amazing picture.

Comment or trackback, as long as you link to here.

Never mind. I don’t want to talk about it. Testing:

1. One
2. Two
3. Three

LOL!

Are you a patriotic terrorist?

If you are intensely critical of the US, while tolerating homicidal enemies who condemn everything you previously claimed you are for - human rights, voting rights, gay rights, women’s rights, porn - then you’re a patriotic terrorist.

If you talk about tolerance constantly - and hilariously tolerate genocide and suicide bombers because those actions undermine your more intimate opposition, the American right - then you’re a patriotic terrorist.

The only difference between a patriotic terrorist and a real one? Real terrorists are simply patriotic terrorists who’ve taken the extra step - choosing to actually die for their beliefs - rather than simply talking about them at Spago. If Tim Robbins, Sean Penn, Michael Moore, and their ilk had real cojones, they’d all be wearing cute black vests - but stuffed with more than dog-eared copies of Deterring Democracy.

Aussie “activists” want everybody to know how guilty they are. Hat tip to Tim Blair, who has some great comments about this.

City Journal effectively skewers John Hawkins’s statement that Rudy is “not conservative in the least.”

Wackjobs go off the deep end in three states — but Tancredo has a momentary flash of sanity:

Tancredo has repeatedly opposed a guest-worker program because he said it would reward immigrants who entered the country illegally. But now, “if I see we’re truly enforcing the law…I’d be willing to talk about a potential guest worker program.”

It won’t last long. He’ll start thinking about those filthy brown hordes and go back to drooling all over Bay Buchanan’s bib.

In the meantime, Republicans in Utah, Virginia, and South Carolina will reportedly start wearing tinfoil hats and patrolling for UN black helicopters.

A little linky love while I run some errands:

• Andrew Bolt is back — with an Aussie vengence
• Matt Johnson on Presidential campaign funding and McCain-Feingold
• Jef Clark is packing his I’M WITH STUPID T-shirt, just in case
• Bruce Walker makes a pitch for Fred Thompson
• Ace sobs for student
• Jules Crittenden tried to get Kerry to change his mind
• Powerline fisks the NYT
• Democrat election workers in Ohio convicted of election rigging
• Tim Blair ponders Elle Macpherson’s underwear (work safe)

Enough. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.

Over 4,000 signed the pledge in the first six hours after NZ Bear put it up:

If the United States Senate passes a resolution, non-binding or otherwise, that criticizes the commitment of additional troops to Iraq that General Petraeus has asked for and that the president has pledged, and if the Senate does so after the testimony of General Petraeus on January 23 that such a resolution will be an encouragement to the enemy, I will not contribute to any Republican senator who voted for the resolution. Further, if any Republican senator who votes for such a resolution is a candidate for re-election in 2008, I will not contribute to the National Republican Senatorial Committee unless the Chairman of that Committee, Senator Ensign, commits in writing that none of the funds of the NRSC will go to support the re-election of any senator supporting the non-binding resolution.

You can sign the pledge here.

Comment or trackback, as long as you link to here.

Currently on the Biography Channel: Search for the Abominable Snowman.

Uh, so who wrote the biography of the abominable snowman?

Showing right now on the (cough, cough) History Channel: Last Days on Earth. Scientists explain seven of the deadliest threats to humanity: black holes, artificial intelligence, supervolcanoes, asteroid strikes, nuclear war, disease and climate change.

Huddle under your beds! The sky is falling! It’s the end of civilization as we know it!