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roger williams university
This is a year old, of course, but when I first read it last year, at first I thought it must be a satire from the Onion. I refer to the creation of Penis Day at Roger Williams University — and if you missed it last year, read on (and make sure you have your Kleenex handy). Anyway, the College Republicans decided to parody Vagina Day and the Vagina Monologues by declaring Penis Day and putting on, yes, the Penis Monlogues. The mascot is a guy in a penis costume named Testaclese:
The week before V-Day, the Roger Williams campus was plastered with flyers emblazoned with slogans such as “My Vagina is Flirty†and “My Vagina is Huggable.†There was a widely publicized “orgasm workshop.†On the day of the play, the V-warriors sold lollipops in the in the shape of–-guess what? Last year, the student union was flooded with questionnaires asking unsuspecting students questions like “What does your Vagina smell like?†None of this offended the administration or elicited any reprimands, probations, or confiscations.
The campus conservatives artfully (in the college sense of “artful”) mimicked the V-Day campaign. They papered the school with flyers that said, “My penis is majestic†and “My penis is hilarious.†The caption on one handout read, “My Penis is studious.†It showed Testaclese reclining on a couch reading Michael Barone’s Hard America, Soft America.
“Testaclese†tipped the scales when he approached the university Provost, Edward J. Kavanagh, outside the student union. Apparently taking him/it for a giant mushroom, Provost Kavanagh cheerfully greeted him.
The funniest part is this:
“Testaclese†tipped the scales when he approached the university Provost, Edward J. Kavanagh, outside the student union. Apparently taking him/it for a giant mushroom, Provost Kavanagh cheerfully greeted him. But when Testaclese presented him with an honorary award as a campus “Penis Warrior,†the stunned official realized that it was no mushroom.
Of course, the university was not amused:
After this incident, which was recorded on videotape, the promoters of P-Day were ordered to cease circulating their flyers and to keep Testaclese off campus grounds. Mindful of how school officers had never once protested any of the antics of Vagina warriors, the P-warriors did not comply. The Testaclese costume was then confiscated and formal charges followed.
