Right Wing Nation

Comment or trackback, as long as you link to here.

Fast, easy, and amazingly good–and the raspberries will be in the stores here soon.

Raspberry/Blackberry Ice

This is no wussy raspberry-flavored ice cream. This is pure, concentrated, intense berry–note that there’s only a cup of water. It’s refreshing, it’s delicious, and it’s easy to make. Drag out your ice cream freezer and go to it–but this freezes much quicker than ice cream, so don’t start the freezer then go off and do something and forget it. It also melts very rapidly. Fair warning.

1 quart berries
1 c. sugar
1 c. water
lemon juice

ice
rock salt

Stir the berries and sugar together and let sit for a couple of hours, until all the sugar is dissolved and the berries are good and juicy. Strain through a food mill, and add the water. Add lemon juice to taste.

Freeze. As soon as it’s done, pack it and put it in the freezer–you don’t want to leave this in the canister to ripen, like you would with ice cream.

Comment or trackback, as long as you link to here.

Hat tip to Tim Blair for yet another example of moonbats showing their ignorance:

JAMESTOWN - Holding “Shame on Jamestown” signs and surrounded by police in riot gear, more than 30 members of the New Black Panther Party gathered outside Historic Jamestowne on Saturday to protest violence and slavery in America’s first English settlement.

Members of the Panthers pumped their fist to shouts of “Black power!” and “Death to white supremacy!”

Problem 1: If you follow the link and look at the poster the “activsts” are holding, you’ll notice that it’s a photograph. Jamestown was settled in 1607, more than two hundred years before photographs.

Problem 2: There were no slaves at the Jamestown Settlement. Look up Captain John Smith.

Had these idiots been in school instead of running around in gangs, selling crack, and participating in drive-by shootings for fun, they might have learned something. But it does get better, because of course, there were guilty little rich kid liberals there:

“It’s a point well-taken,” said Robin List, a 28-year-old social worker from Denver, who watched through a bus window.

During her entire trip to Jamestown, List saw not a mention of slavery in the early colony. More exhibits should be dedicated to the issue, she said, “especially if you’re celebrating the anniversary of a country built on the backs of other people.”

Because there weren’t any, you idiot. But better yet:

Grant Jenkins, who watched the entire protest, said he had mixed feelings about it. Some of their concerns were legitimate, he said, such as their protest of violence in the colony. But he found it disturbing when one speaker called King James I a derisive term for a homosexual.

“It bothers me she would use sexuality as a way to insult somebody,” said Jenkins, 38, who teaches English at the University of Tulsa.

Forget their ignorance. Forget the sheer hutzpah of a self-defined violent group protesting violence. Black power, Death to America, this doesn’t bother him, but slurring James I does. What a frigging moron.

Overall, he said, free speech is “what America is about.”

“It’s healthy,” he said.

The freedom to make a drooling idiot of yourself. Yes, that’s extremely healthy.

The Manhattan Institute published a study, "The Effect of Residential School Choice on Public High School Graduation Rates." It’s an interesting study, although the authors make several dubious claims, such as:

Decreasing the size of school districts could improve educational outputs, including graduation rates, because it would increase the choice that parents have in the school system that educates their child. By making it easier to relocate from one school system’s jurisdiction to the next, smaller school districts make it possible for a larger number of families to exercise choice among different school districts. The more families are able to move from district to district, the less students can be taken for granted by schools, which, for a variety of reasons, don’t want to lose enrollment. This study provides empirical evidence that increasing the choice parents have in their child’s school district contributes to higher public high school graduation rates.

There are several problems with this general assertion. First, there are people moving into an area, and people who already reside in the area. While the former may, with relative ease, be able to buy a home in the school district of their choice (and many do), it’s a significantly greater burden (economically and psychologically) for the latter to sell their home and, say, move ten miles down the road to the next district. New residents, then, get more choice than current residents. Second, from this point on in the study, the authors use school district geographical size as a proxy variable for school choice, even though the two are very different variables.

I spent several hours trying to find data on school district size and graduation rates, first at NCES, then at several state education websites (one of these days, I’m going to rant and rave about the idiotic way data are organized and made available, by both the federal government and the states). I finally went where I should have gone in the first place, to the Indiana Department of Education site, because data are comparatively easy to retrieve and search. There was no way to retrieve both graduation rates and school district sizes in the same table, so I had to put two together and use a lookup function to pull the data together (there were a number of school districts that appeared in one but not the other; these data are only school districts that reported both geographical size and graduation rates). The Indiana data also code school districts by "demographic type," that is, rural, town, suburban, and metro (1-4).

First, here is a histogram of the district sizes, mean graduation rates, and number of districts for the Indiana data (the smallest school district in Indiana is 2 square miles, the largest is 457 square miles, and the mean is 122 square miles):

The graduation rates of the largest cohort (school districts that are 250 square miles or greater) and the smallest (smaller than 50 square miles) differ by only 1.7%. This does not seem to support the authors’ assertion that there is a statistically significant negative correlation between school district size and graduation rate, but these are aggregated data. First, I ran a Spearman correlation on the school district size ranks (see above) and the graduation rate (Spearman, and not Pearson, because one of the variables is a rank).

There is a negative correlation, but only a very weak one, far smaller than the authors reported. The next step was to run a Pearson correlation on school district size in square miles and graduation rate on all the Indiana school districts, instead of the data aggregated by district size rank:

And again, although there is a negative correlation, it is negligibly small. If there is a significant correlation between school district size and graduation rates, as the authors claim, it should show up in the Indiana school districts represented here, yet it is not. One reason for this may be that the authors analyzed data over several years and looked specifically at changes in school district sizes over time, and these are data from one year (2002-2003). That’s only a partial explanation. If, as the authors claim, decreasing school district size will positively affect graduation rates, we should see higher graduation rates in smaller districts, and at least in Indiana, we do not.

The Indiana data also ranked school districts as metro, suburban, town,, and rural (1-4) based on population density (Bloomington North is ranked as metro, whereas my high school is ranked as rural). Comparing the graduation rates of these four types yields interesting results:

From these aggregated data, we see differences in graduation rates between the groups. Metro school districts have the lowest mean graduation rate, followed by town, but rural and suburban schools have the highest graduation rates. It doesn’t look like we have a significant correlation between population density and graduation rate, but to check, I ran a Spearman correlation on school district type and graduation rate:

This correlation is stronger than either of the geographical size correlations, but it’s still a weak correlation. From these data, it appears that something is going on between graduation rate and population density somehow, but from the low rs, it looks like some variable embedded in district type is affecting graduation rate. It could have something to do with culture, or crime rate, or any number of variables that factor into population density. But from these Indiana data, I cannot verify the authors’ claim.

July 1, 2005, a cool clear Friday morning. That was the day the movers came (to move us out of that wonderful great big ranch in the country in Monroe County–a house I will always miss) and Dolly and I got in the Explorer, loaded so tightly I could barely see behind me in the rear view mirror, and left Monroe County at 7 am. I had only been out here once, and just past the Pittsburgh exit we had taken some godawful two-lane all the way here, full of traffic, and impossible to make good time on. It may have been fewer miles, but I was going to take the Pennsylvania Turnpike to I-99. Trust me. After you’ve driven all the way across Ohio, you really, really, really want to get here as soon as possible.

We stopped at nearly every available opportunity, not just because I needed to pee (and half the time, I didn’t), but because I had a puppy with me. There was much sniffing and excitement along the way. Traffic was awful from Bloomington to Indianapolis (rush hour), and even worse on 465 (Indianapolis rush hour), but once I was on I-70 and past the business district, the traffic was thin.

There was very little traffic in Ohio, which is a good thing, because even though it’s one of the most boring, soporific drives imaginable, if the State Troopers aren’t out (and I didn’t see even one), you can make really good time. I-70 is wide and straight and level, until you get to the eastern part of the state. That’s when you start to climb into the Appalachian foothills, just before you get to Zanesville, and Ohio is no longer boring.

Wheeling, then the Pennsylvania Visitor’s Center in Claysville. We stopped there (it’s a good thing, too, because it’s the last one for a good two hours) and Dolly stretched her legs, hopped around, and did a great deal of sniffing. There still wasn’t much traffic, though I’d never driven the road, and I’d forgotten the map, so when we got to Pennsylvania, I slowed down because I had only a vague idea of how far I was from here.

You have to exit I-70 to get onto the Turnpike. I didn’t miss that exit, but as soon as you exit, you have to take another exit (depending on whether you’re going west to Pittsburgh, or east to Philadelphia), and the exit is ass-backwards (you exit to the LEFT to go east). I almost ended up going to Pittsburgh, and would have, had there been anybody else on the road, but I switched lanes and got on the Turnpike.

The Turnpike was almost spooky. The whole time I was on it, I saw fewer than ten cars. Of course, that’s when I found out what the Pennsylvania Turnpike is like–forget making good time, even if it is empty. That’s also when I found out you go for miles between exits, and how few rest areas there are in this state (much like Indiana). Since I’d forgotten the map and didn’t really know how far it was to the exit, and since it was so far between exits, it seemed like the longest part of the trip, but I finally got to the I-99 exit at Bedford–and chuckled, because the first sizable town south of Bloomington is Bedford (Indiana).

It’s astounding how many place names the two states share. Dubois (pronounced the same way, doo-boiz). Bedford. Palmyra. Paoli. Oh. I’m off on a tangent. Sorry. I-99.

I might have gotten lost as soon as I got off the Turnpike had the “Altoona” signs not been there. Left, another left, then exit onto I-99. It’s a little rough when you first get on it, but it smooths out, and once you climb into the mountains, all I can say is wow. I-99 is one, great big, picture postcard, following the mountain ridge, with the adjacent ridge on your immediate left as you drive northeast, and the valley beneath. I knew I was about two hours from here when I got on I-99.

Thank God I was driving an Explorer. Maybe the best thing is how comfortable the seats are. My butt never got tired, and it was probably about 4 pm when I got to I-99 (yeah, yeah, I know, but I’d never driven out here before, and wasn’t quite sure where I was). But when I got to where I-99 abruply ends in Tyrone, I knew where I was.

Almost here, in Centre County. One thing I find strange is that the first sign you see that mentions Penn State isn’t until you get to Centre County. You’d think there would be Penn State signs on the Turnpike, or even on I-99, but there aren’t. I climbed Skytop, and in less than five minutes, parked in the driveway to let Dolly pee (the last time we’d stopped was at the truck plaza on the Turnpike). I pulled into the garage and parked, then entered the empty house. I was just glad to be here. Dolly, however, was a ball of curious energy, and wanted to play as soon as we got into the garage (click on the pictures to see the larger ones).

As soon as I unlocked the garage door and went into the house, there had to be much bounding and running and other doggy behaviors–particularly when she discovered the stairs:

Then, of course, much sniffing about:

The last thing I wanted to do was drive, but it was an empty house, and I nothing to sleep on, and we were both hungry. So I put food down for Dolly, and went to (ta-da!) Wal-Mart to get an inflatable bed. By the time I’d turned around, she’d finished one side and was ready for the other:

By the time I’d inflated the bed and tossed the pillows and sheets on it, Dolly decided it was just for her:

I did manage to scoot her over far enough that I could sleep on the bed.

Tangerine Peel Chicken (Szechuan)

This really is one of the most amazing things I’ve eaten–and the most uniquely flavored. Purists will object to my use of fresh tangerine peel, but dried tangerine peel is often not available at the Chinese grocery (I dry my own because tangerines are not usually available year round), and orange peel is an entirely different thing, “sweeter” in flavor while tangerine peel is almost bitter, maybe grapefruit-y, and orange peel produces a very different, inferior dish. I also double the chilis when I make it, but I love painfully hot food–but before you do the same, note that because of the way this dish is prepared, four chilis will give what most consider to be a spicy dish. Of all my recipes, this is easily one of the five or six most valuable.

1 lb. boneless, skinless chicken, in small cubes
2 T. each: oil and sesame oil
1 t. salt

Dry seasonings

1/2 tangerine peel, shredded (or a 2-inch piece of dried tangerine peel, soaked until soft then shredded)
4 dried chilis (the small red ones–chiles de arbol are available everywhere, and work perfectly for Asian, since they’re primarily hot and don’t have a distinctive flavor of their own)
3 green onions, diced
4 quarter-sized pieces ginger, minced
1 t. szechuan peppercorns, toasted and ground

Liquid seasonings

3 T. each: dry sherry, dark soy sauce, wine rice
1 T. sugar

First, put a large piece of cheesecloth folded double in a strainer over a small container, and measure into the cheesecloth the wine rice (like I said, it’s fermented rice–you don’t eat the rice, you extract the sticky liquid and use that). Bunch up the top of the cheesecloth and squeeze out the liquid, then discard the rice and the cheesecloth. Add to it the rest of the liquid seasonings, and stir until the sugar is dissolved.

Combine the dry seasonings on a saucer.

Heat a wok until smoking hot over a high flame, then add the oils and swirl the wok to get the oil up the sides. Add the chicken and the salt, and flip it around in the hot oil for about a minute, until all the pink is gone. Add the dry seasonings, mix well, then add the liquid seasonings. Cover the wok, reduce the heat to very low, and cook for fifteen minutes. Remove the cover, turn the heat up on high, and flip until the liquid is evaporated. I always drizzle a little bit of sesame oil on right before serving it.

Background on the Sheriff’s race here.

Well finally, (minimal) information on those other two candidates’ platforms–the two running on the GOP ticket for Sheriff who can’t be bothered to, you know, send out flyers or set up a site or campaign–buried in a story in the local rag about the Register of Wills race debate.

Stamm, retired from 29 years as a Penn State police officer, struck similar chords. He suggested that a morale issue facing the sheriff’s office is that most of the deputies really want to be police officers and are just waiting for openings.

And the Sheriff is responsible for the motivation of deputies . . . how, exactly? What do you think would make them, uh, feel like they’re policemen?

Stamm said more firearms practice is needed. In his six years as a part-time deputy sheriff, Stamm said, he got to the firing range only once a year on average.

Again, exactly how is Nau responsible for the fact that you didn’t get your lazy ass to the range more than once a year? Did he implement a policy prohibiting you from going to the range more than once a year? No? Then how is it anybody’s fault but your own?

Kuzio, who retired after 25 years at Penn State working in energy management, said the court system should use constables more to deliver paperwork to free sheriff deputies for more significant work.

And “more significant work” would be . . . what, exactly? He does have some sense of responsibility, unlike the other two:

Kuzio chided his Republican rivals for setting forth critiques now during the election campaign but apparently not bringing the issues up during the time they worked for Nau.

“Why didn’t they go to Denny? Why didn’t they go try to fix it?” Kuzio said. “I know the sheriff’s done a lot of good things — and things that I would keep.”

Well yeah, why didn’t they?

And Denny:

One of his priorities, Nau said, is to upgrade the annual salaries of deputies to $30,000 after two years on the job. “We are losing quality deputies not because they’re unhappy,” he said, but because they can earn more money elsewhere.

If the Sheriff is going to spend tax money, I’d rather see pay raises for the deputies than Cadillacs and brunches for inmates.

I’m still writing “Denny Nau” in the write-in box on my Republican primary ballot.

Hat tip to Pam for this stroke of genius–carbon debits!

Carbon Debits - Increasing Your Carbon Footprint…

Making a carbon debit is a delicate matter taking both skill and time. Our carbon debiting process starts with our FECON spinning shredder and a driver who has vendetta against trees. Add any tree and about 20 seconds and a carbon debit is born!

On a Mission - Taking Away Al Gore’s Carbon Credits…

We are on a mission to take away every one of Al Gore’s meaningless carbon credits by simply providing carbon debits. Help us make this dream a reality by purchasing one of the packages below. Don’t let Al Gore assuage his guilt with meaningless penance, heap it back on with carbon debits – every one of which we will let him know about.

Do We Really Kill Trees?

The short answer is “Yes”. We run a burgeoning business of clearing trees from grasslands so the Antelope won’t be scared. As silly as that previous sentence sounds it is the truth. So, you can have a clear conscience that you removed a terror inducing tree in an effort to improve the antelope state of mind – which makes them better targets during hunting season. Although we don’t completely follow the logic of the game and fish department on this, we go along with it.

Their packages range from:

Standard Carbon Debit Package ($19.95)

• Tree destroyed in your name
• Email sent to Al Gore
• Certificate of carbon debit purchase
• “I Increased my Carbon Foot-Print” T-shirt

to the duper deluxe:

Premier Carbon Debit Vacation Package ($4999.95)

• Airfare to Arizona from any continental US state.
• 1 day of carbon debiting using our tree-crushing FECON grinding head tractor–and average of 100 trees debited in a day.
• 1 “My Carbon Footprint is Bigger than Yours” T-shirt with imprint of you in the seat of the tree-killer.
• 1 “Carbon Debit Gold Star Member” plaque
• 1 “I Took Away Your Carbon Credits” plaque sent to Al Gore.
• 1 “I Increased my Carbon Footprint” T-shirt

It’s almost worth the 19.95 for the T-shirt alone.

I was playing around with this new online database that shows graduation rates (thanks, Joanne!) and the first thing I did was search for the local school district (State College School District). I then, of course, checked Bloomington’s "city" school district (Monroe County Community School Corporation), expecting to see similar stats. They’re both college towns, with campuses roughly the same size (Penn State’s flagship campus is a little larger than Indiana University’s, but they’re comparable), they’re not quite the same size (Bloomington is larger), but close, not urban, certainly, and not really small towns. They both have the same kind of semi-rural, leave your doors unlocked feel. There are two high schools in the Monroe County Community School Corporation, Bloomington North and Bloomington South, and one in the State College School District, State College High School.

What I found is not what I had expected. But first, let’s compare graduation rates (these data are for 2002-2003) for the two states, just as a control:

There’s a difference of 6%, but it’s not vast, certainly not large enough to explain this:

Considering how similar the two communities are (above), how can we account for this discrepancy? My first impulse was to check other school districts in both Monroe County (Indiana) and Centre County (Pennsylvania), thinking perhaps if I did, the discrepancy would disappear. There is only one other school district in Monroe County, the Richland-Bean Blossom Community School Corporation (yes, there really is such a place as Bean Blossom, Indiana) and several other school districts in Centre County, so I also got the data from a very small, very rural school district in Indiana, the Northeast Dubois County School Corporation:

I chose the Bellefonte Area School District because locals are fond of sneering at it (Bellefonte is the county seat, so there’s a certain amount of envy going on there), and it’s significantly smaller than the State College School District. I could have chosen any of the other districts in the county to get the same contrast (small, rural), but went with the closest, the Bald Eagle School District.

Clearly, contrasting Bloomington and State College with smaller, rural districts only partially accounts for the discrepancy. Richland-Bean Blossom has a higher graduation rate than Bloomington, but still lower than both of the Centre County districts. But if we add in school districts from large urban areas in each state (I chose the major school district from the two cities), things get even more bizarre:

Not only are the graduating rates significantly lower than even the Bloomington rates, but the IPS rate is far lower than I would have expected (what I would call shut them down, fire everybody, hire all new faculty and staff, change everything and start all over again low).

It seemed almost a waste of time to see if perhaps the level of education of the general populace could account for the difference, since both Bloomington and State College are college towns, but I did it anyway:

The difference in educational levels between the two is misleading, since in reality, the college town here is Happy Valley, of which State College Borough is only a part. Still, I doubt that even if we could somehow get the education levels of the Happy Valley populace (which we cannot, because Happy Valley is a conglomeration and no census data are taken), they would increase the numbers enough to account for the difference.

So population, does that account for it? It doesn’t seem like it does, from just looking at Bloomington and State College, but when we take into account all the other data:

If we run a Pearson correlation, we get the following:

Granted, I’m not working with much data, certainly not enough that I can draw any conclusions. Still, the r is -0.81442, and that’s a strong, negative correlation (r² is 0.6633, indicating that 66.33% of the variation in graduation rates is accounted for by variation in population), and it indicates that the larger the population, the lower the graduation rate. Somebody–not me–needs to analyze more data, and see if this holds true with a significantly larger sample.

But I think it’s interesting, especially all the nonsense we hear from the urban pinkie-up liberals about stupid rednecks who live in small towns or the country. And before somebody says it, yes, I know the data are cherry-picked, and yes, I know the data are not representative. I was just playing with the database. But that’s exactly why I say somebody should look into this further.

as Average Gay Joe leads the charge against sodium chloride!

Andrew Bolt:

Zimbabwe thought Sydney’s Earth Hour - turning off the lights for an hour to save the planet - was such a good idea, it’s turning off the power to the whole country. Every day.

Heh.

Oh no!

BOTTLED water, the world’s fastest growing beverage, carries a heavy environmental cost, adding plastic to landfills and putting pressure on natural springs, the author of a new US report said today.

“Bottled water is really expensive, in terms of environmental costs and economically,” said Ling Li, who wrote the report for the Washington-based Worldwatch Institute.

Bottled water is a scam, but this is about the best reason I’ve seen to buy it.

Papua police fight human sacrifice cult:

PORT MORESBY (Reuters) - Riot police have been sent to a remote mountainous village in Papua New Guinea after a gun battle between police and members of a cult involved in human sacrifices, local media reported Wednesday.

The National newspaper said several people were killed and many injured in the fighting last week in the Finschhafen area of Morobe province, 350 km (220 miles) north of the capital, Port Moresby.

Black magic is widespread in Papua New Guinea, a jungle-clad, mountainous South Pacific island nation where some villages only encountered Western civilization in the 1930s. Women suspected of being witches are often hanged or burnt to death.

Police who flew to the area Sunday said they believed they were dealing with a cult movement involved in murders and human sacrifices to their gods, the newspaper said.

Morobe’s chief police inspector, Augustine Wampe, said suspicions of cult activity started in April when a child was kidnapped and police were attacked trying to rescue the child.

“It takes a whole day to walk from (the town of) Sialum to the village in the mountains, where the child was held. The four (police) were ambushed and attacked by the villagers,” he said.

“Gunfire was exchanged and one of the policemen was injured in the leg with an arrow. Another policeman fell over a cliff.”

Police reinforcements were attacked and forced to retreat. The villagers then went on a rampage killing one man and chopping up his body and burning houses, Wampe said.

Wampe said riot police flown in Sunday were trying to negotiate a peace with the villagers and bring those responsible for the kidnapping and fighting to justice.

Prediction: Provided they notice the story, moonbats will start squealing about “Imperialism! Pigs!” in

3 …

2 …

1 …

I would reproduce the recipes, but you really need to see the pictures.

Deep Fried Bacon Cheese and Beer Dog, to be served with the Perfect Bacon Martini.

Comment or trackback, as long as you link to here.

You no doubt heard about the idiotic petition to free Paris Hilton (I’ll include a bit of the petition, so you can get an idea of the towering intellects behind it):

She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives.

[ . . . ]

We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong. We do not support drunk driving or DUI charges. Paris should have been sober. But she shouldn’t go to jail, either.

I was going to start a HANG PARIS HILTON BY THE NECK UNTIL DEAD petition, but it looks like a lot of people beat me to it. We have:

• Jail Paris Hilton Petition
• Get Rid of Paris Hilton for Good
• Paris Hilton is a waste of time
• No Clemency for Paris Hilton
• Go Away Paris
• Don’t Pardon Paris Hilton
  and, I’m afraid,

• Hang Paris Hilton

And these 20,000 idiots who signed the Free Paris Hilton petition. Do they have no shame, or are they even stupider than it seems?

Hat tip to Freeborn John for The English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer Translator, which takes the opening paragraph from Emerson’s “Self-Reliance”:

I READ the other day some verses written by an eminent painter which were original and not conventional. The soul always hears an admonition in such lines, let the subject be what it may. The sentiment they instil is of more value than any thought they may contain. To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for you in your private heart is true for all men,–that is genius. Speak your latent conviction, and it shall be the universal sense; for the inmost in due time becomes the outmost, and our first thought is rendered back to us by the trumpets of the Last Judgment. Familiar as the voice of the mind is to each, the highest merit we ascribe to Moses, Plato and Milton is that they set at naught books and traditions, and spoke not what men, but what they thought. A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. Great works of art have no more affecting lesson for us than this. They teach us to abide by our spontaneous impression with good- humored inflexibility then most when the whole cry of voices is on the other side. Else to-morrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another.

And returns this:

I READ TEH OTHAR DAY SOM3 VARS3S WRITEN BY AN EMIENNT PANETER WHICH WARA ORIGINAL AND NOT CONV3NTIONAL!1!11 OMG WTF TEH SU ALWAYS H3ARS AN ADMONITION IN SUCH LIENS LET TEH SUBJECT B WUT IT MAY!!11!! WTF LOL DA SENTIEMNT THEY INSTIL SI OF MORE VALUE THAN ANY THOUGHT THEY MAY CONTANE!!111!11 WTF 2 BLEIVE UR OWN THOUGHT 2 BLEIV3 TAHT WUT SI TRUE FOR U IN UR PRIVAET HAART SI TRUE FOR AL MAN-TAHT SI G3NIUS!1!111 OMG SPAAK UR LAETNT CONVICTION AND IT SHAL B DA UNIEVRSAL SANSA FOR TEH INMOST IN DU3 TIEM BCOMAS DA OUTMOST AND OUR FIRST THOUGHT SI R3NDAR3D BAK 2 US BY DA TRUMPETS OF DA LAST JUDGM3NT!11!1! OMG WTF FMILIAR AS DA VOIEC OF TEH MIND SI 2 3ACH DA HIGH3ST MERIT W3 ASCRIEB 2 MOS3S PLA2 AND MIL2N SI TAHT THEY SET AT NAUGHT BOKS AND TRADITIONS AND SPOK3 NOT WUT M3N BUT WT THOUGHT!1!1! LOL A MAN SHUD L3ARN 2 DETECT AND WATCH TAHT GLEM OF LIGHT WHICH FLASH3S ACROS HIS MIND FROM WITHIN MOR3 THAN DA LUSTR3 OF DA FIRMMANT OF BARDS AND SAEGS!1!1! OMG Y3T HA DISMISAS WITHOUT NOTIEC HIS THOUGHT B/C IT SI HIS!11!!!!! OMG IN EVERY WORK OF GENIUS W3 RACOGNIEZ OUR OWN REJACTAD THOUGHTS THEY COME BAK 2 US WIT A C3RTANE ALEINAETD MAEJSTY!11!1 WTF LOL GR3AT WORKS OF ART HAEV NO MOR3 AF3CTNG LESON FOR US THAN THIS!1!1!1! OMG WTF LOL THEY T3ACH US 2 ABIED BY OUR SPONTAENOS IMPRESION WIT GOD- HUMORED INFLAXIBILITY THEN MOST WHEN DA WHOLE CRY OF VOIECS SI ON DA OTHAR SIED!11!!!!1! LOL ELSE 2-MOROW A STRANGAR WIL SAY WIT MAST3RLEY GOD SANS3 PR3CIESLEY WUT WE HAEV THOUGHT AND F3LT AL TEH TIEM AND WA SHAL B FORC3D 2 TAEK WIT SHME OUR OWN OPINION FROM ANOTHER!!1!!!1! OMG LOL

It’s just like reading Daily Kos.

The really bizarre thing is that this damned ticket has so many candidates on it, and the only one I really want to win the general election is a frakking Democrat. What does that tell you about the Republican candidates?

Pennsylvania Supreme Court:

Maureen Lally-Green (Endorsed by PA GOP State Committee)
Michael L. Krancer (Endorsed by PA GOP State Committee)
Paul P. Panepinto

The problem is that there are two open seats, three candidates running, and two of them are endorsed by the pit of vipers also known as the Pennsylvania GOP. One of the votes is easy: Panepinto, because the state party isn’t endorsing him, and because I heard a rumor that the national GOP is. There’s another reason to vote for him: He’s running his ads not on youtube, but QubeTV (here and here). But which of the state party-tainted candidates do I vote for?

Let’s start with Krancer. Scuse me, but why should I care if you’re a Civil War reenactor or not? What does that have to do with being a state Supreme Court judge? Then, his site says:

Judge Krancer is proud to have received the endorsement of the full body of the Republican State Committee of Pennsylvania

Buddy, that doesn’t get you points with me. But the really annoying thing is that this idiot is too cheap to buy his own domain for a campaign site. Instead, he uses one page on the state party site. I’m not likely to vote for him unless Lally-Green is worse.

However, she’s not. In fact, she’s got some strong points. First, Toomey endorsed her. That gets her a lot of points from me, even if she was endorsed by the state party (spit). She was also endorsed by the Pennsylvania FOP, usually a plus for a judicial candidate. So I guess I’ll vote for her.

Now, the next race, for Pennsylvania Superior Court:

Cheryl L. Allen
Bruce F. Bratton (Endorsed by PA GOP State Committee)
Jacqueline Shogan (Endorsed by PA GOP State Committee)

First, Allen, who’s almost guaranteed one of my two votes because the state party didn’t endorse her. Eh. She sound a little on the bleeding-heart side to me (sprinkling buzzwords like “disadvantaged” through your bio doesn’t make me want to vote for you). On the other hand, she’s the only candidate in this race who got Highly Qualified from the state bar association. Maybe.

Then, Bratton, another candidate who apparently isn’t too interested in winning, since he also couldn’t be bothered to plunk down fifteen bucks for his own domain. One page, very little information (biographical only), and all this experience he lists makes him sound like a professional politician from way back, not the kind of person I’m most likely to vote for.

And Shogan, at least she has her own domain. Okay, she’ll get my vote. She’s been recommended by the Firearm Owners Against Crime (FOAC), the state NRA affiliate. She has a pretty impressive list of endorsements, including Toomey, the State Corrections Officers Association, and the Pittsburgh FOP. So I guess I vote for the two women in this race.

For Centre County judge, Court of Common Pleas, we have:

Jonathan D. Grine
R. Bruce Manchester
Stephen P. Sloane

Grine is a no-brainer. Go check out that list of endorsements, it looks like from every law enforcement organization in the county. There we go.

Manchester’s site is full of information–except that none of it is what I want to know. I don’t care about his (or any judicial candidate’s) civic service, or how long his family is been in the county. I want to get some idea of what he’ll do if he’s wearing the robe. And he gives no indication there, so probably not

Sloane is also a no-brainer. Fifteen years as the ADA, over 5,000 cases with a 90% conviction rate. There’s my other vote (defense attorneys and ambulance chasers running for judge seats needn’t even try to get my vote).

Moving from the county to the (multi) township level, we have Magisterial District Judge:

Drew Clemson
Leslie A. Dutchcot
Lynn Herman
Robert Stewart

Clemson. It’s a mixed bag. First, there’s this:

Explore alternative justice initiatives that have proven effective in preventing crime

That sounds like he wants to teach criminals to knit instead of throwing them behind bars. But he has endorsements from two of the four township police departments he’ll be serving, and he is a cop. Maybe.

There’s a whole lotta nothin on Dutchcot’s site. Actually, there’s a fair amount there, but it’s crap, like this:

• Member American Heart Association - Centre County Heart Walk Committee
• Member Women’s Welcome Club
• Volunteer with Centre County PAWS
• Solicitor to Rescue Me, Inc
• Volunteers within the Community to keep public spaces beautiful

I’m glad she likes animals and plants trees, but what does that have to do with the job?

Stewart at least has the endorsement of the county Pennsylvania State Troopers Association.

Of the three bozos running for Sheriff, only one has a website, and none has sent out any flyers of any kind. That’s not the way to win an election (though surely, none thinks he’ll win). I’ll vote in the primary for the one who does have a website, Kalmbach, and Nau in the general election.

Then there are the bozos running for school board. After almost every other candidate has nothing on his website, these educrat kool-aid drinkers have so damned much educrationese drivel on their sites I can’t get all the way through them. The first time I see “21st century classroom” my eyes glaze over and I shut down. Before Tuesday, I’ll have to slog through all their nonsense, but not now, and not today.

Comment or trackback, as long as you link to here.

Barely two months after the last of the election signs from that last election finally came down, they started sprouting up again–and they’re everywhere. Great. And whoever heard of a primary where you have to do more research on candidates than a regular election? Well, that’s exactly what we have coming up Tuesday. Take a look (the Republican ballot):

Justice of the Supreme Court

Paul P. Panepinto
Maureen E. Lally-Green
Mike Krancer

Judge of the Superior Court

Bruce F. Bratton
Cheryl Lynn Allen
Jacqueline O. Shogan

Judge of the Court of Common Pleas

R. Bruce Manchester
Steven F. Lachman (This is the bozo that wants to send criminals to knitting class instead of locking them up. His flyers say he’s an Independent, so what’s he doing on the Republican ballot?)
Jonathan Grine
Pamela A. Ruest
Stephen P. Sloane

All I know is I’m voting for the judge who wants to toss criminals in jail and throw away the key. I’ll have to do some looking around to figure out who that is (for each race).

County Commissioner

Sue Mascolo
Chris Exarchos
Steven Dershem
Andrew A. Sicree

I’m skipping the ones that have only one candidate running.

Sheriff

Doug Kalmbach
Paul Stamm
Bill Kuzio

If you read this, you know how I’m voting in the general election. Course, this is the primary, so he’s not on the ticket. I like Kalmbach’s platform, but I’m going to find out which one is the idiot who criticized Nau for not buying new vehicles and not vote for him. I figure I can wean the choices down by elimination. And the Democrats have the good sense not to run anybody against Nau.

Register of Wills

Do we really need a special office just to handle wills? In Indiana, the County Clerk does that. And from all the flyers and visits to the house, you’d think this was some kind of important race. Sheesh. Having said that, I’m voting for Gable, only because I don’t care who wins, and I’ve met him–he’s the guy who explained the bizarre way local government works in this state.

Kim Barton
Charles R. Gable
Mary Lisko

District Judge

Drew Clemson
Leslie Dutchcot
Robert W. Stewart
Craig Q. Rose
Lynn Herman

Stop the presses! Lynn Herman was the state rep when we moved here. He voted for the pay raise, saw the writing on the wall, decided not to run–and then (surprise, surprise) his handpicked successor lost the election. So now, he’s running for district judge–I guess because judges can keep their pay raises (or so the state supreme court decided). And get this. His campaign slogan is, “Who better to judge violations of our laws than the person who wrote them?” Stop it! You’re killin me, Lynn baby! Idiot.

School Director at Large

There are nine running, and I can only vote for five. Now, I wouldn’t usually care much, except for the crap the current school board has been pulling (see here for everything you need to know about the high school scandal, and more). There’s a story about the candidates in the local rag. All I know is that I want the incumbent bozos out.

You’re going to love the school district referendum (for the reasons behind it, here:

Act 1 School District Referendum

“Do you favor the State College area school district imposing an additional 0.7% earned income tax? The revenue generated from the increased tax rate will be used to reduce school district taxes on qualified residential properties by an estimated $378.00. The current school district earned income tax rate is 0.95%.”

Guess how I’m going to vote. Go ahead. Guess.

UPDATE: Right after I posted this, I got email from the (hold my nose) State GOP, which says, “REMEMBER TO VOTE LALLY-GREEN AND KRANCER FOR SUPREME COURT; AND BRATTON AND SHOGAN FOR SUPERIOR COURT NEXT TUESDAY, MAY 15th, 2007,” and yes, in all caps. I guess that makes things easier–well, a little. I’ll just have to figure out which of the state selected candidates to vote against.

You know, those scalloped potatoes in a box aren’t bad, provided you doctor them (cream, not milk, increase the butter, add the obligatory ham), but whether it’s due to the boxed potatoes or something else, the venerable dish has seemingly fallen into the cracks. And you see all kinds of crap served as scalloped potatoes when you do see them. No, scalloped potatoes do not contain cheese. No, scalloped potatoes do not contain Campbell’s soup, or carrots, or celery. And perhaps most importantly, no, scalloped potatoes are not “vegetarian.” So here is how God Almighty eats scalloped potatoes. Try them, and you’ll see why.

Country Scalloped Potatoes

6 medium potatoes
3 T. each: butter and flour
1 large sweet onion, chopped
4 oz. ham, diced
1 c. each: milk and cream
1/4 t. dried mustard
salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 350 and lightly grease a large baking dish.

Peel potatoes; rinse well then slice thinly (hint: the food processor is good at this). In a saucepan over medium heat, melt butter. Add onions, turn heat down to low, and sauté for 5 minutes, until beginning to soften (but not until transparent). Raise heat to high, stir in flour until smooth. Add milk and cream. Cook, stirring, until thick and bubbly. Stir in mustard, ham, and salt and pepper to taste. Mix the potatoes and sauce in the baking dish, cover, and bake for 45 minutes. Uncover, and bake for an additional 20 minutes, until potatoes are tender and the top is nice and brown. Cheese? Are you kidding? (When I was a kid, I preferred au gratins to scalloped, but I grew up. Cheese is a frivolous distraction.)

I found these comparative data on homeschooling (1999 and 2003) at the NCES site. First, the national data for the two years (number and percentage of school-age children homeschooled):

It’s hardly surprising, given the nonsense paraded as education, that the percentage of homsechooled kids increased by 0.5% between 1999 and 2003. Nor is this:

I’ve never done it, but I feel certain that homeschooling is a lot of work, far easier for two parents than one. As I said, not surprising, but the rest of the data are:

Like I said, homeschooling has to be a lot of work, so I’d expect to see a higher percentage of homeschooling households with one, or even two chidren. Yet, by far the largest cohort have three or more children. This only appears surprising at first glance:

The initial question is why there aren’t more households in the top two income brackets homeschooling. The answer is, of course, that they can afford expensive private schools. However, note that between 1999 and 2003, the number of households homeschooling increased in those top two brackets, by 5% and 4.3%, respectively. In 1999, homeschooling truly was a middle-class phenomenon. The data show that it is spreading.

This, however, is surprising:

The first surprising thing is that the more educated the parents are, the less likely they are to homeschool (there are possible reasons for this, but I’ll get to that in a minute). The second surprising thing is that between 1999 and 2003, parents who have a high school diploma or less form the only group that has increased (there are also possible reasons for this). The only educational group that has remained stable between the two years are the parents who have a Bachelor’s degree (25.1% and 25%).

The more educated the parents are, the less likely they are to homeschool their kids. So does this mean that more educated parents are less concerned about their childrens’ education? I doubt it. The more educated parents are, the more likely they are to have decent-paying jobs, and decent-paying jobs tend to require more work, both outside and inside the home. Therefore, part of this may be due to simple pragmatism. Also, a trip to any number of parent edublogs (most of whom represent the top two educational levels) shows that while they may not be homeschooling their children, they are working with their children and supplementing their education (the level of frustration with the local school system and educational system in general on these blogs tends to be quite high). Some, such as this parent blogger, are working their children through whole alternative curricula.

The increase in the number of parents with high school diplomas or less who are homeschooling their children also has a possible explanation. Where is the highest concentration of both parents with a high school education or less and the poorest (and most dangerous) schools? Unfortunately, the NCES does not include these data, so I cannot check if there was a similar increase in inner city families homeschooling their kids, so that will have to remain speculative.

Finally, here are the reasons parents homeschool (2003):

The primary reason, then, is a concern about the environment of the schools (obviously, both the dissatisfaction of instruction and moral instruction are also important). Do you think it might be time for the schools (and state and federal governments) might reconsider all the "student rights and privacy" policies they’ve set in place? Perhaps it’s time for the schools to take discipline back, eh?

Wal-Mart gives over four million dollars to Teacher of the Year winners.

The moonbats are slobbering all over themselves because, and I quote:

On Monday, Rep. Ted Poe took to the House floor to discuss foreign policy matters. To make a point, the Texas Republican invoked the words of Civil War Confederate Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest: “Git thar fustest with the mostest.”

The quotation got some floor watchers’ attention pretty quickly. Forrest is a controversial figure who was one of the Klan’s first grand wizards. Although the Civil War hero (if you were a Confederate, that is) ultimately abandoned the Klan for its violent tactics, he continues to kick up dust.

Nice try, kiddes, but there are two problems:

1. Forrest never said it.
2. Robert Byrd.

Maybe you’d better sue that university for the “People of Color Studies” degree they conned you into getting.

In two days, two politicians have demonstrated their ignorance. First, the Silky Pony:

Democrat John Edwards said Tuesday that he worked for a hedge fund between presidential campaigns to learn about financial markets and their relationship to poverty

Then, Obama:

Barack Obama, caught up in the fervor of a campaign speech Tuesday, drastically overstated the Kansas tornadoes death toll, saying 10,000 had died.

The death toll was 12.

I guess both of them went to one of those “creative” schools where they do lots of macaroni art projects.

The Carnival of Education is posted!

Comment or trackback, as long as you link to here.

I was looking at the referral stats and saw this:

psu.edu (Educational)
(The Pennsylvania State University)
Pennsylvania
Boalsburg

Boalsburg? Where do they hide the campus?

To whoever writes those TV show descriptions that pop up when you press the display button: The word is “spatial.” As far as I know, “spacial” is not an English word, much less the one you want.

You’re welcome, I’m sure. I’m always glad to help.

Just came in my email:

Gorgeous presents You may find,
Make this clear to your mind
Morning, noon or even night
Here’s the link that you want
http://[deleted]
Rolex, Cartie and much more
Hurry up, this is YOUR store!

I’m not a literary critic, but I think it needs a little work.

Universities are hotbeds of wackjobs. Worse, people with PhDs tend to be surprisingly fragile (surprising, since if a PhD is a test of anything, it’s tenacity and the ability to deal with stress) and highly neurotic, with inflated senses of self-importance. People with PhDs also tend to be drama queens. Everything is traumatic. Rarely will they just shrug, suck it up, and move on, not when they can throw a major fit and stomp out. Put several hundred or more of these fragile-ego prima donnas together in a work environment, and you get insanity. People with PhDs also tend to be excessively sincere and worried about their feelings. Working on campus is eggshell city. Someone once said that the academic politics are so dirty because the stakes are so low, but that’s only part of it. Academic politics are so nasty mostly because the people are such neurotic, self-obsessed, narcissists.

This is a taxonomy of the most annoying of those delicate, fragile, egotistical, snotty, neurotics we all work with at the university. Universities and schools are no different from the private sector in one annoying respect: The frequency of pointless meetings. So before we get to our nuttier types, let’s deal with those categories of colleagues who are particularly annoying in meetings.

The Earnest Attendee

You know him. He’s the one who looks puzzled when he hears somebody say, "Not another meeting!" He asks for clarification at every opportunity, often saying, "Let me see if I got this," then repeating everything that was just said. Worst of all, when the pointless meeting is finally almost over, he always prolongs it by asking at least seven questions. After the meeting, he will always try to corner somebody to talk more about the meeting, because he’s obsessed with the fear that maybe, he missed something (when there was nothing to miss in the first place).

The Meeting Addict

You know him, too. He’s the one who’s always saying, "Maybe we should have a meeting …" and the first time he said it, you laughed because you thought it was a joke. It was no joke. He was serious, and you’ve hated him from the minute you realized it. He’s the reason for a third of the pointless meetings you have to sit through, and still, there aren’t enough for him. He’s usually very sincere, the sort who’s always talking about "concerns" or "feelings" rather than anything of substance, much like:

The Excessively Sincere Colleague

Meet Larry. Larry is always gratingly annoying, although he’s much, much worse in meetings, since otherwise, you can avoid him. Larry is extremely PC, you know, the type who spends half the time he’s talking apologizing beforehand just in case, instead of getting to the frakking point (at least partly because Larry never has a point; speaking is merely an excuse to apologize for his penis). Larry speaks at every opportunity, and never has anything useful to say; instead, he always says things like, "Something you said concerns me," or "How do you feel about that?" or "What are the implications of that?" (when "that" had no substance in the first place), or worst of all, "Let’s create a committee to explore this issue." Of all your colleagues, Larry is one of those you most want to strangle until his eyes pop out of his head.

Life on campus isn’t only meetings (though yes, I know it sometimes seems like it is). So let’s move on to the colleagues who are annoying everywhere.

The Illiterate Pedant

Surely, you know Martha. Martha can only talk about one thing: How illiterate her students are, and often, everybody else. She’s always telling you how many grammatical errors her students made, or how bad their spelling is, and for some reason, never talks about the course content. After all this, Martha then passes out reports at meetings with such demonstrations of her superior education as “independant,” and–wait for it–”grammer,” and never met a homophone she could get right, so every time she means “website” she writes “websight,” and forget “discreet” and “discrete.” Even though they bear directly on what she teaches, Martha will never get those straight. Even basic definitions confuse her. Martha’s the one who always writes “flaunt” when she means “flout,” and can’t remember the difference between “disinterested” and “uninterested” (or spell either one). Martha is also blissfully ignorant of such silly little details as subject-verb agreement, dangling modifiers, capitalization and the distinction between proper and common nouns, and basic punctuation (she’s eternally confused by semicolons, and she will argue with you for hours, insisting that “none always takes a plural verb,” for example)–though she never splits in infinitive or ends a sentence with a preposition! You wonder how much she had to pay somebody to proofread her dissertation, at least when you’re not wondering how she got out of elementary school. In meetings, when the topic of grammar or spelling has come up, Martha has been known to shoot out of her seat and say, “I’m the expert on that here!”

The Technophilic Techno-Idiot

Meet Sandra. Sandra has the latest everything. Like the kids on South Park, she lines up waiting for the store to open to buy the very latest technology on the day it hits the shelves. She has the latest iPod, iPhone, and iToilet. She eats, drinks, breathes, lives, and sleeps technogadgetry. And she’s a tecnho-idiot. When you are unfortunate enough to have to work with her, she pulls up Microsoft Word to create a simple list of text items (Notepad is too hard for her, as, apparently, are a pencil and paper). When she needs to do a simple calculation, she pulls up Excel, even though she’s got a frakking math degree. She can’t send a simple email message. Instead, she attaches a Word file. She loves to send everybody in the department those e-post cards where you have to go to some website and register to see the damned thing. And when she discovers how to create PDF files, your life becomes a living hell.

The Technophobic Techno-Idiot

Meet Janine. Janine is a throwback to 1985. Janine has a computer, supplied by taxpayer funds, but refuses to use it unless forced. She used the ditto machine until somebody finally threw it out, she whined and raised hell about it for six months afterward, and she refused to use the Xerox machine until the following academic year. Every time you run into her in the hall, she starts bitching about having to use computers, Xerox machines, anything invented after the wheel. She’s like a broken record. When she does have to use the computer, she has to call IT so they can tell her which icon to click to read her email, which icon to click to reply to email, which icon to click to send email, and which icon to click to log off. It’s amazing they don’t have to tell her how to hang up the telephone. I watched Janine use the Xerox machine once. She put a book on the machine, pressed the button, and the copy came out. She looked at the copy, then turned the page, but flipped the book around. She pressed the button. and the copy came out, but turned 180 degrees from the first. Instead of turning the copy around, she threw it away, and turned the book around to make another copy. I watched her do this for a grand total of 27 pages. She had thrown away (and re-copied) 20 of those pages.

The General Whiner

Meet Jack. Every time you see him way down the hall coming your way, you duck down the nearest corridor or into the nearest room to avoid him, and if you can’t, you beat your head against the wall. Jack corners any human being he sees and whines. "I don’t understand why my students have to take a departmental exam!" "I don’t understand why they let these students take my class!" "I’ve got 332 students this semester!" "Are you done grading yet? I have hours of grading to do! I just hate all this grading!" and so it goes, for hours, unless you can chew your hand off to get out of the trap.

The Paranoid Wackjob

Meet Wallace. Wallace is a lot like Jack (our whiner), but with a neurotic, slightly disturbing, and extremely irritating twist: Everything is a plot to take him ("us" when he corners you) down. Wallace insists that the university supplies faculty with tax-funded computers to spy on them. When his computer is scheduled to be upgraded, or needs to be worked on, Wallace will not let IT into his office unless he is there, hovering over them, to make sure they don’t bug his office, or whatever it is that obsesses him. Wallace loves to complain that departmental exams are a violation of his autonomy and an attempt by the government to control him. Wallace is also a conspiracy theorist, which he loves to tell you about, and like Jack, he corners any human being he sees. Wallace needs to be institutionalized.

The Misplaced Kindergarten Teacher

Meet Louise (actually, nearly all ed school faculty would fall into this category). Louise is in full kindergarten-teacher-mode, 24/7, and not just with her students, but everybody. She’s the one who speaks very slowly and deliberately, always in that kindergarten first-person-plural, always in that squeaky kindergarten-teacher voice ("And how are we today!"), and not just to her students, but to you. To the department chair. To the dean. Everybody. Louise is the one who comes to meetings with a big poster board drawn up, which she always has to "present" and explain every little colored circle. Whenever Louise is speaking, your chair suddenly shrinks and you feel like you’re in elementary school. Kill her. Kill her now. And not unlike her is:

The Perky Colleague

I don’t know what it is, but this one is always a woman. It’s 7:15 am, it’s Finals Week, you have four hours of reviews to face (and prepare for), you feel like hell, and she bounces into your office with a bright and cheery, “Good morning!” with her head bouncing from side to side. You put your head in your hands and groan, and she says, “Cheer up! The semester’s almost over!” Yes, she’s really nice, and you almost feel guilty about wanting to kill her.

The Needy Colleague

Needy people annoy me in general, and I get more than my fair share of needy from students–but we get paid to help students, and that’s the difference. Needy people with PhDs, well, if you’ve never encountered this particular beast, you’re in for a treat. Of all your colleauges, they have the most fragile and over-inflated egos and the most delicate sensibilities. And they always need your help. Like John. The only thing we can figure is that, like Larry, our excessively sincere colleague (above), John’s testicles never descended. John cannot wipe his butt without seeking validation. John treats everybody like his girlfriend–not a romantic girlfriend, the kind women have. John would come into the office, plop down, and without noticing that I was conveying unambiguous apathy (and a sudden fascination with my computer screen), start telling me about the latest traumatic event and asking me all sorts of, well, female questions, like "Should I have done that?" "Would you have done that?" "Do you think I should do this?" "Do you think I should do that?" and even if you say, "I don’t care," he keeps asking those questions. Even when he invades your space to ask questions about something that actually matters, like grading or the course, you want to wall him up with bricks (For the love of God, Montressor!) He’s the colleague you want to ask, "Have you ever done anything on your own?"

The Misery Addict

Meet Jana. Jana thrives on misery. She will back you against the wall just so she can tell you how miserable she is. Everything makes her miserable. Her home. Her husband. Her kids. Her house. Her car. Her job. Her students. Grading. Teaching. Research. Everything makes her miserable, and her only joy in life is to make sure everybody knows how miserable she is. When you finally escape, you’re so depressed you almost want to slit your wrists.

The Gross Incompetent

This is the guy who can’t do anything right. Nothing. He’s a lousy teacher, he can’t communicate with his students so they come to your office hours instead, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, every time he turns in grades he ends up filing change of grade forms for half of them–and he thinks he’s the most intelligent person on the planet. Meet Tom, our gross incompetent. Before class every day, he would come into my office and ask me to go over everything with him, to make sure he understood it. Any questions he might submit for the exam were so bad they had to be tossed–until I stopped soliciting them from him, and he sent them anyway, so I just deleted them. Every time you see him, you seethe that he’s actually getting paid to be an incompetent moron. I know lots of him. Tom isn’t the only one.

And finally, most annoying of all:

The Student-hating Snob

Meet Mary. Mary is the most insufferable, egotistical, pinkie-up snob you’ve ever met. Mary studied in France, and never misses an opportunity to tell you all about it, or how many languages she speaks, or what an insufferable wine snob she is, or how extremely cultured she is. She’s as bad a teacher as the gross incompetent (above), but what makes her worse is that the reason Mary insists her students hate her is because they’re stupid. Or they don’t "appreciate" the importance of education, or her great genius. Mary’s the one who will say, in perfect seriousness, "Can you believe a student actually disagreed with me today? With me! Such arrogance!" In fact, the reason Mary is a hideous teacher is that she hates students because they’re not on the same social level as she, and she can’t be bothered to put in the work to be a good teacher. Mary’s the one who has "Office hours by appointment only" on her syllabus, to make herself as inaccessible to students as she can. Mary’s the one who cancels half her classes because she can’t be bothered. Mary’s the one who is always saying, "This is a research university" in meetings whenever teaching comes up. And Mary’s disdain for students bleeds beyond the university. She’s the one who tries to get a zoning law passed to keep students out of her neighborhood (though she gladly takes their tuition). When she manages to corner you, she only talks about one thing: How incredibly intelligent she is, and how stupid somebody else is, usually, her students. Her students, by the way, hate her–and so do I.

And here endeth the list of the Most Annoying Colleagues. If I’ve left any out, feel free to add them in the comments. Other education articles here.

Ashley Herzog writes:

First, the belief that employers get away with paying women 77 percent of what men make can only be explained by a lack of understanding of basic economic principles. If it were true, money-grubbing employers would hire only women, since it would lower costs and increase profits. We know that doesn’t happen, so feminists have invented a preposterous explanation: male businessmen care so much about keeping women “in their place” that they’re willing to lose money by hiring men. Is it just me, or do people like Donald Trump seem slightly more concerned with getting rich than maintaining patriarchy? Already, the pay gap theory has serious flaws.

Second, the 77 cents to the dollar figure is calculated by comparing the average salaries of all men to all women. It does not account for occupation, education, the number of hours worked, or the different roles that jobs play in men’s and women’s lives. The average woman earns less because she’s made different choices in life – a fact that feminists, despite all their caterwauling about the importance of “choice,” refuse to accept.

What women’s studies majors who lament about the pay gap don’t realize is that they’re contributing to it. According to economist June O’Neill, a major reason women make less than men is that they often choose college majors in lower-paying “humanities” fields, such as education, journalism, English and social work, while men are more attracted to high-paying fields like business and engineering. If women’s studies majors are so outraged by the pay gap, maybe they should all drop out and enroll in the College of Engineering. That act alone would do much more to close the pay gap than blaming sexism.

She’s a junior at Ohio University, and smarter than either Hillary or Obama. Sad.

And they just get crazier:

I hated those first few months of motherhood. The baby had colic, Larry was on a soundstage seven days a week, my career was on hold-all of my friends worked-I had no one to talk to. I was isolated and scared. I spent a lot of time walking around the neighborhood, pushing a stroller. I started noticing an enormous amount of SUVs on the street. Everyone was driving them. I frequented a local bookstore and picked up a book called High and Mighty by Keith Bradsher of The New York Times. It was about the proliferation of SUVs and how they were really harming America. It explained that our fuel-economy standards were plunging because of a loophole in the law that classified SUVs as trucks, thereby allowing them to have lower mileage standards than regular cars-fewer miles per gallon and double the carbon-dioxide emissions. So, every time you drove somewhere, to the store, the school, the freeway, you were now all of a sudden doubling your personal CO2 pollution. I panicked, because everyone I knew was driving them. I had had other lightbulb moments in my life-like the first time I tasted good wine and then couldn’t drink the cheap stuff any more; or the moment that I learned that bald men make better lovers, and never dated a man with hair again. But this was different. This awareness landed with a thud on my shoulders. And with awareness comes responsibility.

Uh-huh. I’m having a “lightbulb moment” right now about your sanity. Like Slublog says, are we supposed to take the nutcase seriously? Does anybody take this idiot seriously? She read some hack book by a hack journalists about SUVs and then she panicked? What’s going on here? Why has nobody put Prozac in the nation’s water supply?

And she just won’t shut up:

After connecting the dots when I became a mom, I made it my job to educate myself about the environment and global warming. I read everything on the subject I could get my hands on: books and articles by reporter Mark Hertsgaard (Earth Odyssey); environmentalist Bill McKibben (The End of Nature); Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Ross Gelbspan (Boiling Point); Todd Wilkinson (Science under Siege); and Al Gore (Earth in the Balance). I joined the board of the Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC), the most effective environmental group in the country. And through them, I met Robert F. Kennedy Jr., NRDC’s senior attorney. Hearing him describe environmental problems as the civil rights issue of our time resonated so deeply with me that it was at that very moment that I decided to devote everything I had to the cause — to become a serious full-timer.

Somebody get the butterfly nets–for her, and all her nutty groupies.

Those alien abduction statistics were taken from "Experiential America: A Bipartisan Study," by Dr. Lucinda Porpoise Wellsley-Meyer and Dr. Robert Griffin. The paper itself is fascinating. Being co-written by a moonbat and a sane human being lends the paper a schizophrenic quality, and it ultimately had to be separated into sections because the two researchers could not agree on what was interesting or what conclusions to draw. While Dr. Lucinda Porpoise Wellsley-Meyer was fascinated by the space alien abduction data, Dr. Griffin saw it as evidence of possible mental imbalance, or at least a propensity for mass hallucination, and so forth.

Here are some excerpts. First, Dr. Lucinda Porpoise Wellsley-Meyer:

Most interesting was that so many reported being abducted by space aliens.

Have you ever been abducted by space aliens?
	Y	N	N/A
Democrat	67%	20%	13%
Republican	0%	98%	1%
Libertarian	98%	1%	1%

Note that no Republicans reported being abducted. This would seem to indicate either that Republican intelligence is so low that the aliens do not find them interesting, or that reporting their abductions would brand them as hypocrites among their Christianist allies. Just as interesting is that Democrat and Liberarian respondents reported being abducted by two different aliens:

What type of aliens abducted you?
	Grey	Reptilian	Don’t remember
Democrat	25%	70%	5%
Libertarian	87%	11%	2%

There was, however, little difference at first glance in whether abductees were probed:

Did the aliens probe you?
	Y	N	N/A
Democrats	89%	5%	6%
Libertarians	94%	1%	5%

There seems to be, however, a significant difference between Democrats and Libertarians regarding the number of orifices that were probed:

In how many orifices were you probed?
	1	2	3+
Democrats	64%	11%	25%
Libertarians	23%	57%	20%

When we look at a crosstab, however, we see that this distinction correlates with the type of space alien, and not the political affiliation of the abductee:

Crosstab: Alien type and Orifices probed
	1	2	3+
Grey	5%	34%	61%
Reptilian	81%	9%	0%

Note that the delicate-appearing Greys probe more orifices than the intimidating, fright-inducing Reptilians! This speaks to the greater truth of ignorant American Islamophobia, fearing Muslims because they look different, while the more familiar–the Christianist Religious Right–is more dangerous!

Dr. Ro