Sooooo-ey!

You’ll remember this from the other day, all of the agricultural (cough, cough) subsidies paid out in Manhattan:

I think we can all agree that Manhattan is about as far from an agricultural area as one can get — Manhattan isn’t just not an agricultural area, it’s the antitheses of an agricultural area. So let’s look at an agricultural area, as in a real agricultural area, dominated by, you know, farms, and see how many ag subsidies are being paid out. By the way, I know this is a heavily agricultural area because I live here. Farms. Everywhere. Farms, farms, and more farms, mostly dairy farms.

“Class, what do you notice about the two? Wait, let’s look at them side by side.”

Manhattan:
Centre County, PA:

“Okay class, do you see anything odd or interesting here? Yes, you in the back, Miss Stevenson.”

“There are a lot more agricultural subsidies paid out in the non-agricultural area than the agricultural area.”

“Very good. Yes, Mr. Schultz?”

“Are the two maps at the same zoom level?”

“That’s an excellent question. The Manhattan map is at a higher zoom, but it doesn’t make any difference, as it turns out. The red circle sizes are not affected by the zoom, because they represent the amounts of the subsidies. The larger the circle, the more money is paid out. Miss Gonzalez?”

“Why are more agricultural subsidies paid out in Manhattan? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Well, it does make sense, because like all government entitlement programs, this program is being abused. The money is going to political donors, not farmers. And since there are more rich political donors in Manhattan, they get more subsidies.”

“Isn’t that bribery?”

“Why, yes it is! It’s bribery of the worst sort. Class, this isn’t pork. This is lard.”

Actually, I would never say that in the classroom, and I’m not shouting, “Where’s our subsidies?” The dairy farmers here get plenty of pork in the form of state subsidies and state-mandated minimum pricing (there is no such thing as “the cheapest milk in town” in this state — with the exception of convenience stores, all stores sell milk at the state-mandated minimum price). But this pisses me off a lot more than the bridge to nowhere, just because this is nothing more or less than sheer bribery. Legislative abuse. Corruption. That, and just the idea of some pinkie-up Manhattanite sucking at the government teat to grow rosemary in a chic and trendy little rooftop garden.

Check your own area. The data come from the farm subsidy database.

5 Comments

  1. Darren:

    At least nationalized health care wouldn’t be like this. (snicker)

  2. Sebastian:

    I probably could have done without seeing that. Now I really want to burn Washington to the ground :)

  3. Bitter:

    You have no idea the rage this has sent me into tonight. I looked up my hometown. I know most of those people, including some of my family members, have to be scamming the system.

  4. Snowflakes in Hell » Blog Archive » Suckling at the Teet of Government:

    […] Follow this link to see who in your town might be receiving inappropriate welfare payments farm subsidy checks.  Republicans will never end farm subisides, because the people who receive them are also the people who vote for them.  Democrats will never end them, because they’ve never met a government program they didn’t love as one of their children. […]

  5. Individual Photos And Comments:

    […] wonder how much in agricultural subsidies these people are […]