I think I’ll make another batch of these tomorrow.
Archive for January 6th, 2008
Death Becomes Her is on Encore.
Ten stupidest criminals of 2007. This one is my favorite:
2. Ten Hours Stuck in Restaurant Vent
An employee of the Lucky Buffet noticed a strange sight on arriving at the restaurant. There were legs hanging out of a vent over the grill! 45-year-old Billy Jordan had tried to enter the restaurant the night before by climbing through the ductwork, but became stuck and stayed there for ten hours. Hillsborough County Fire Rescue workers used a rope to pull Jordan back out through the roof, after which he was arrested for burglary.
I’d like to propose a deal. Presidential candidates will stop talking about replacing oil with some magical technology, and I’ll stop talking about my 13-inch penis. Enough internet myths already, folks.
Dirty Harry has his movie year in review posted. He’s a movie reviewer, so he saw more movies than I did, but there are some pointed remarks:
Longest 90-Minutes Of My Life: Margot At The Wedding - After five-minutes I wanted to leave. After thirty-minutes I wanted to kill myself. After an hour I wanted to kill everyone else. After it was over I just wanted to sit under a hot shower like Elisabeth Shue in Leaving Las Vegas to see if it was possible to ever feel clean again.
Somehow Worse Than I Expected: Lions For Lambs looked really awful but managed to be worse. Preachy, anti-intellectual, career-worst performances, cheap production design, lousy CGI, and some of the most absurdly illogical moments ever put on film (high above the Afghan mountains two men jump out of a moving helicopter thirty-seconds apart and land a few feet from each other…? Huh? Wha…?) Runner up: Daddy Day Camp was the only time I’ve ever felt embarrased to be sitting in a theatre.
Best Use Of A Lousy Actor: Lindsay Lohan as herself in Georgia Rule.
Then, there were movies I saw, and wholly concur:
Best Year For A Star Not Wanting To Commit Career Suicide: Ben Affleck’s stunning directorial debut with Gone Baby Gone. Bravo.
Most Surprising Performance By A Fella: Casey Affleck’s turn as Robert Ford in The Assassination of Jesse James was an absolute knock-out and by far the best performance of the year. Runner up: Casey Affleck in Gone Baby Gone. A major talent has arrived and it’s a good thing because we sorely needed one.
Absolutely. Gone Baby Gone was hands-down the sleeper of the year. A great, great movie.
Best Star Duo: The Great Russell Crowe and The Mighty Denzel in American Gangster. Runner up: Crowe and Christian Bale in 3:10 To Yuma.
Absolutely times two. Or would that be four?
And:
Worst Movie Experience: Listening to the young audience applause after two dreadful hours of watching Rob Zombie defile the classic Halloween.
Yeah, that would have been depressing.
The pics. Click to biggify.
The shoes, waiting for the shuttle bus:
The first thing we saw — Helmut’s strudel stand! These folks make amazing apple strudel — they come to State College for the art fair:
Speaking of apples:
The obligatory Steelers stand (there were several of them, and if you don’t know why obligatory, then you don’t live in Pennsylvania):
There was an elementary school rodeo going on, which for some odd reason (and I don’t know why) reminded me of NYC Educator:
This is a fifth-grader on the horse:
Speaking of NYC Educator, these are angus cattle:
There was plenty of food:
No Pennsylvania festival would be complete without a few of these:
And for Wyatt, there were almost as many of these as there were Steelers logos:
And speaking of Wyatt, I found the State Police. They had a big table set up:
And the State Police are raffling off this beauty, to raise funds for the State Police Memorial (yes, I bought a raffle ticket). Hard to imagine, say, the New Jersey police holding this raffle, isn’t it?
And for all of our PETA-moron pals, this is what angus cattle are for:
To see the whole set of pics, click here.
The link in this comment deserves to be on the front page, where everybody can see it. Sincere thanks to the author for leaving the link. Read it all — especially if you’re thinking you might vote for Huckabee.
