Ahem.

Bitter had a bitter experience with a particularly disgusting sounding pie. Chocolate banana pie.

Ugh. The bile is rising in my throat just looking at the name.

Okay, I admit, I love bananas and hate all things banana (banana bread, banana pie, banana cake, banana candy, all disgusting items that should never be eaten). But this is one of those “pies” with whipped cream on top.

Whipped cream never, ever, under any circumstances is a pie topping. Never. Meringue goes on pies. You can serve whipped cream with pieces of pie, but no, never should it appear as a pie topping.

Never.

Key Lime Pie, you say? That’s a nasty excuse for a pie, candy sweet and vile. And it has a graham cracker crust. That’s not pie. Pie has a pie crust. Graham cracker crusts are for cheesecakes and junior high home ec recipes for kids who can’t make pie crusts. That’s filth. If you like lime and want a pie, make lime meringue pie.

5 Comments

  1. Bitter:

    It’s easy for you to complain about all things banana. I love bananas, but I can’t eat them plain. I have to eat them either covered in something like chocolate, ice cream, or baked into something. There’s something from the peel that I’m mildly allergic to. If I eat a banana plain, my throat itches for hours afterward.

  2. Darren:

    Rightwingprof:
    What are you, some kind of Communist or something?
    =)
    We’re just going to disagree on this post!

  3. Patrick Joubert Conlon:

    The only way I like bananas for dessert is “banana custard” which is a South African thing: bananas sliced up into creme anglais. It can be served hot or cold - with a sprinkle of nuts and raisins.

  4. ricki:

    Allergic to bananas here too.

    But I agree with you on the whipped cream thing. And that goes double if it’s that horrid, fake, “shaving cream” type whipped cream that some restaurants insist on using.

    Sadly, I live alone, so I never bake pie (can’t eat one up before it goes bad). So I never get to have pie with real meringue on top any more.Because all of the restaurants around here are too lazy to do it.

  5. Jeffrey Quick:

    The real problem is in integrating the bananas in the mush. Without them, it might not be bad, but would require more than the 1/2 c of sugar for that much cocoa…I’m also unconvinced that cocoa is the way to go here, in terms of integrating with the other ingredients.

    Anyway, it’s a CHEESECAKE, not a pie, and cheesecakes have graham-cracker crusts, or none.

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