Right Wing Nation

Time for biscuits and gravy again.

Biscuits

There are several “secrets” here. Lard will make the biscuits rise more, but doesn’t brown like butter, so I always use half and half. Crisco is nasty stuff, always has been, always will be, and if you use it, don’t tell me about it. “Handle as little as possible” isn’t an old wives’ tale. Forget cutting the fat in with a pastry cutter (unless you’re among the 0.000001% of the population who happens to have a good one), and don’t even think about the mixer or the food processor. Use your hands, er, your fingers, and work quickly. If you can’t get pastry flour (sold in the South as White Lily), use half all-purpose and half cake flour. And finally, cut the biscuits with a biscuit cutter if you want them to rise high. You can use a glass, and I have many times, but the dull edge of the glass smooshes the sides, and they don’t rise like they do if cut with a sharp biscuit cutter.

2 c. flour
4 1/2 t. (1 1/2 T.) baking powder
1 t. salt
1/2 c. lard, or lard and butter, COLD, cut into small pieces
2/3 c. milk

Mix together flour, baking powder, and salt. Add the lard, and cut in, until the mixture resembles coarse cornmeal (this is best done with your hands). Add milk, and stir just until it cleans the side of the bowl.

Toss out onto the counter. Gently “knead” only four or five times, just until it is smooth — knead is a bad word, because kneading is working the dough to develop the gluten. Anyway. Do NOT use a rolling pin. Pat out to about a half-inch thick. Cut biscuits and place on a baking sheet. You may gather the dough, pat it out, and cut out biscuits, but only one more time (for a total of twice). Bake at 400 for 10-13 minutes. Note: If you use all lard, don’t use appearance to judge whether they’re done, because they’ll be overdone by the time they brown on top. Use the thump test instead.

Sausage and gravy

Honestly, all my life I’ve been hearing people claim they can’t make gravy, and I don’t get it. Nothing could be simpler. If you’re getting lumpy gravy using a spoon (and I don’t get that either, since if you stir constantly and bring it to a boil, the lumps will cook out), use a whisk.

Oh. Today’s sausage is leaner than it used to be. You may have to add a little oil, lard, or bacon grease. Just warning you. You can make this traditional, or smooth. Your choice.

1 lb. country sausage (Jimmy Dean sage is good, and they have a new flavor called intense that’s just as good). No other sausage will do. No smoked sausage, no cooked sausage, forget it. Go to the store where the sausage is, and that ain’t the deli counter, and buy some.

2 heaping T. flour
lots of black pepper
salt
2 c. COLD milk (more or less)

If you’re making traditional biscuits and gravy, cut the roll lengthwise and dump the whole thing into a cold pan. Turn the heat on medium, and as it cooks, break it up with a spoon, until it’s done, then leave it in the pan and proceed with making the gravy. If you’re making smooth, cut it into patties, put them in a cold pan, and cook them over medium heat until they’re done, then remove, but leave the grease in the pan.

Add the flour to the fat in the pan, and stir with a spoon or a whisk into a roux — if there’s too much flour, it will be dry, instead of smooth, so add a bit of oil or other fat and stir it in until you have a smooth roux.

Turn the heat up on high, and add about half the milk. Stir constantly and energetically. The roux will thicken the milk (I never get lumps, but if you do, keep stirring and they will cook out). When it starts to get really thick, add more milk, stirring it in, and keep adding milk until the gravy is the consistency you prefer. My home was the center of the Great Gravy Wars, where my grandmother would tell my mother, “Nancy Jane, your gravy’s so thick you could cut it with a knife!” and if my grandmother had made the gravy, my mother would complain that it was too thin. Gravy was a passionate topic in our home. Me, I like it about halfway between the two not as thick as my mother’s, but thinner than my grandmother’s.

Salt, and generously season with black pepper. Very generously.

When the gravy is done, you’re ready to eat. Split a couple of biscuits on your plate (or leave them whole, if you want), and spoon gravy over them. Down home cooking at its best.