Right Wing Nation

I haven’t given out the rubber nose in some time, and there are some serious contenders here — and they’re both Republicans. They both got way too much of the st00pid, so without further introduction, here are our winners.

First up is an Indiana Republican (well, he’s from Crown Point, and the close proximity to Chicago explains part of the st00pid, but by no means all), Tony Zirkle (and make sure you go look at the photo, because this is so st00pid, you might think it’s a spoof). I’ve bolded the st00pidest of the st00pid.

U.S. Congressional candidate Tony Zirkle is facing criticism from one of his primary opponents, and a host of people on the Internet, for speaking at an event over the weekend that celebrated Adolf Hitler’s birthday.

Zirkle confirmed to The News-Dispatch on Monday he spoke Sunday in Chicago at a meeting of the Nationalist Socialist Workers Party, whose symbol is a swastika.

When asked if he was a Nazi or sympathized with Nazis or white supremacists, Zirkle replied he didn’t know enough about the group to either favor it or oppose it.

“This is just a great opportunity for me to witness,” he said, referring to his message and his Christian belief.

He also told WIMS radio in Michigan City that he didn’t believe the event he attended included people necessarily of the Nazi mindset, pointing out the name isn’t Nazi, but Nationalist Socialist Workers Party.

The Crown Point Republican spoke in front of about 56 “white activists” at an event honoring the birth of Hitler. The German leader was responsible for the genocide of millions of Jews and others during World War II.

Zirkle said the group asked him to speak to discuss the effect of pornography and prostitution on young, white women and girls.

Zirkle is running against Republican Luke Puckett of Goshen and Joseph Roush of Plymouth in the May primary. He lost twice before in primaries to former U.S. Rep. Chris Chocola and has made doing away with pornography and prostitution his top campaign plank.

What is there to say? Is he really so ignorant that he doesn’t know who Hitler was, or can’t connect the swastika armbands with Nazis? Is that even possible?

And I bolded his platform issues because it brings us to our other Clown Award winner (take a bow!), Rep. Paul Broun, who has introduced a bill:

“Allowing sale of pornography on military bases has harmed military men and women by escalating the number of violent, sexual crimes, feeding a base addiction, eroding the family as the primary building block of society, and denigrating the moral standing of our troops both here and abroad,” Broun said.

And what is this “pornography” this bozo’s bill addresses? Playboy and Penthouse.

Andrew Stuttaford and K-Lo are arguing back and forth about this on the Corner. Here’s what I sent them:

First, being “degrading” or “dehumanizing,” both wholly subjective, and not capable of being objectively classified, is a great criterion for banning something in a tyranny, but not in the United States. Sorry, but as horrified by the nanny state as I am, I’m getting really sick of daddy state supporters. These are not children. They’re adults. It makes no difference how “degrading” or “dehumanizing” one may believe the sales of Playboys is; in a free country, adults are free to purchase. That’s what makes it a free country. But the really fundamental problem with bot the nanny and daddy state is that there are no adults, only children who are told what they can and cannot do, because they are not allowed to make up their own minds. Sorry, K-Lo, but no, I have zero interest in living in that country, no matter how well the intentions of the daddy state may be.

But more to the point, nobody has brought up one important issue here.

Priorities.

Like 90% of the people in the US, this politician has absolutely no sense of proportion or priorities. These men and women are deployed, and are regularly under fire. That — their lives, that is — is top priority. Whether they are, in some ethereal way being subjected to second-hand degredation or dehumanization from Playboy is, well, utterly trivial by comparison.

It’s a big wordy, considering that “Wotta maroon!” would have sufficed.

There’s so much competition, the only way to do this fairly (and without hurting somebody’s feelings) is to give the big, red, rubber nose to several awardees.

This Clown Award is very special, because for the first time, we are awarding that ever so prized red, rubber nose to Brits! Give the UK a big hand, everybody!

The first goes to UK Health Secretary Patricia Hewitt. The Iranians kidnap British soldiers then parade them on television, and she’s concerned, yes, very concerned, but not about them!

It was deplorable that the woman hostage should be shown smoking. This sends completely the wrong message to our young people.

That’s right. She presumably doesn’t care that they were kidnapped, or that they’re being paraded around on television. Oh no, she’s a drooling moonbat. She cares about important things–that the kidnapped soldier was seen smoking on television! You go, Patricia! Speak truth to power, girl!

The next red nose also goes to the UK, and requires a bit of explanation. Great Britain is celebrating the 200th anniversary of the abolition of the slave trade, and the tofu-brained Archbishop of York, well, I’ll let you read it:

The Archbishop of York has called on Prime Minister Tony Blair to formally apologise for Britain’s role in the slave trade as churches across the UK mark the 200th anniversary of its abolition today.

You have to step back and think about it for a minute before the breathtaking stupidity hits you. The UK is celebrating the abolition of the slave trade, and this moron (along with all the UK moonbats) want to use the 200th anniversary of the abolition of the slave trade to assuage their guilt. And that’s not all–the race pimps are demanding reparations!

And speaking of anniversaries, the 400th anniversary of the settling of Jamestown is coming up–but the multiculturalist, bed-wetting leftists are apparently controlling the events:

The disease known as moonbattery has so twisted us against ourselves that we can no longer look back on our own proud history without neurotic shame. Alternative festivities have had to be planned to celebrate the 400th anniversary of the Jamestown settlement this year, because official events will portray the spread of Western Civilization to North America as a tragedy.

The word “celebration” has been banned from use in taxpayer-funded Jamestown 2007 events in favor of the term “commemoration.” After all, as anti-Caucasian activist Mary Wade screeches, “You can’t celebrate an invasion.”

Exhibition galleries will glorify the Stone Age barbarians who preceded the colonists to Virginia, characterizing them as avatars of political correctness whose “advanced complex society” was “in harmony with the life that surrounds them.” Actually, these saintly savages murdered 400 colonists — men, women, and children — during the Jamestown Massacre on Good Friday in 1622.

There are, however, still sane human beings in Virginia:

Fortunately an alternative event called The Jamestown Quadricentennial: A Celebration of America’s Providential History will be taking place in the Jamestown/Williamsburg/Yorktown triangle on June 11–16. If we let moonbats take our history, it will be all the easier for them to take our future.

Congratulations to you all–with special congratulations to our first British winners of the Clown Award, coveted among moonbats and wackjobs everywhere! Wear your red, rubber noses with pride!

Previous Clown Award winners:

Frederica Wilson
Janet LaRue
Sheila Jackson-Lee
Madison, Wisconsin motorists

Our first Clown Award went to Sheila Jackson-Lee for her federal hate crimes bill. Jackson-Lee may be the only member of Congress as stupid as Charlie Rangel.

Our second Clown Award went to Janet LaRue, for wanting to protect our troops against pornography (oh no! not pornography! oh dear! oh no!)

Our third Clown Award went to the motorists who did not run over activists playing speedbump. Stupid motorists. Bad motorists.

Our latest Clown Award goes to Florida state senator Frederica Wilson for this idiocy:

TALLAHASSEE — A state legislator whose district is home to thousands of Caribbean immigrants wants to ban the term “illegal alien” from the state’s official documents.

And why does she want to do this? Wait for it . . .

“I personally find the word ‘alien’ offensive when applied to individuals, especially to children,” said Sen. Frederica Wilson, D-Miami. “An alien to me is someone from out of space.”

She’s a liberal, she’s offended, and she wants to pass a law! Stop the presses!

For her mouthbreathing narcissistic stupidty, Senator Wilson gets the red rubber nose. Wear it with pride! And Senator Wilson, were you one of the morons in Florida who couldn’t figure out how to vote?

Hat tip to Cam Edwards.

Previous Clown Award winners:

Janet LaRue
Sheila Jackson-Lee
Madison, Wisconsin motorists

It should be no surprise that this happened in that Mecca of Moonbattery, Madison:

Six peace activists who were arrested and ticketed for lying in the street in front of U.S. Sen. Herb Kohl’s downtown Madison office were found guilty Thursday of a city ordinance violation.

Municipal Judge Daniel Koval sentenced the protesters to 11 hours of community service.

About a half-dozen people showed up at the trial at the Municipal Courthouse to support defendants Cassandra Dixon, Bonita Sitter, Bonnie Block, Deb Mulligan, Jennifer First and Joy First. They held an hour-long vigil in front of the courthouse before the trial.

But no, it’s not the “peace activists” who get the coveted red rubber nose, nor is it their “peace activist” supporters.

Today’s recipients of the Clown Award are the motorists who apparently stopped when they saw “peace activists” lying in the road in front of them — instead of running them over and doing the gene pool a favor.

Let’s go over this again:

• If you’re a forester, and there are moobats sitting in the trees, you cut the trees down — with the moonbats in the trees.
• If you’re a motorist, and you are going at a 2 mph crawl because “bicycle activists” are deliberately slowing traffic for one of their “protests,” you floor the accelerator and run over as many as you can.
• If you’re a motorist, and “peace activists” are lying in the road, you run them over.

There. Are we clear now?

And you Wisconsin motorists, wear your red rubber noses with pride!

Previous Clown Award winners:

Janet LaRue
Sheila Jackson-Lee

There has been a lot of idiocy in the news lately, though a handful stand out as particularly stupid examples. There was Shiela (or is it Betty?) Jackson-Lee’s federal “hate crimes” bill. There was the embarrassingly idiotic cigar incident (no, not Clinton’s cigar — get your mind out of the gutter!) There was the resurrection of the idiotically-named Fairness Doctrine. There was the attempt to prohibit the “N-word.”

Even stupider were the two “I want to be Josef Stalin” speeches, from Hillary, then from Doyle. Stupid enough for you yet? I hope not, because yes, it gets even stupider.

Running to the absurd end of the stupidity spectrum, we have the recent attempt in Arizona to ban mudflaps that were deemed “obscene or hateful” (it fortunately failed). Even stupider are the leftists who are now whining because this idiotic bill failed.

We have D’Souza’s most recent book, which is so amazingly stupid that to address it would be to give it validity it doesn’t deserve. Personally, I don’t think Dinesh is that stupid; I suspect (cynical? me?) it’s nothing more than simple prostitution: I’ll write a book so outrageously stupid and offensive it will get lots of press and sell, sell, sell, sell! And by the way: Anybody who buys that book qualifies as breathtakingly stupid.

But the stupidest thing of all, without question, is this idiot, Janet LaRue, who wants to protect our military from pornography.

This is the stupidest thing I’ve seen in months. Here’s how stupid it is: Ace agrees with Pandagon on this — and so do I. That’s how stupid it is. I agree with Amanda Marcotte.

Listen, you air-headed, pornography-obsessed bimbo. We’re at war. If our troops want pornography, I’ll pack it up and sent it to them. Our troops are under fire from terrorists, and you want to protect them from porn?

How can anyone be as stupid as you? How do you manage to get dressed without help every day — or do you? How did you manage to find the right keys to press when you were writing your idiotic drivel?

Seriously, bimbo. Grow frontal lobes — and please tell us you have not reproduced those defective genes.

Congratulations, Janet. You have won the Clown Award! Wear your red rubber nose with pride!

Now to flush this idiot out of my brain, I’m going to go contribute to Dr. Phat Tony’s Porn for Troops charity.

The Clown Award will be given to whatever elected (or appointed) politician goes beyond the call of duty demonstrating a lack of knowledge of the Constitution of the United States. Today’s Clown Award goes to (wait while I open the envelope) Sheila Jackson-Lee, who holds the singular honor (now that McKinney is gone) of being the only member of Congress as stupid as Charlie Rangel!

And what has Sheila done to receive her little red clown nose? She wants to extend federal power over “hate crimes”! Or as Moonbattery puts it:

High-toned verbiage about how thou shalt not commit crimes “motivated by the actual or perceived race, color, national origin, religion, sexual orientation, gender, or disability of the victim” inevitably boils down in actual application to a simple principle: it may be bad to assault someone, but it’s worse to assault someone who is liable to vote Democrat.

Congratulations, Shirley! Keep it up, and we’ll send you your very own tinfoil hat to wear to Congress with your clown costume!