Jul 24 2005
Compassionate, Constructive, Conservatism
Immigration Swap is a private, non-governmental solution to illegal immigration, and operates on the concept that the problem is welfare, not immigration. Immigration Swap will operate somewhat like an adoption agency, with immigrants instead of children and communities instead of parents. Immigrants must sign a contract that legally binds them to working at least forty hours a week once here, and stating that should they accept any public assistance, they will immediately be deported and permanently barred from re-entering the United States. For every hard-working immigrant adopted by a community, that community will trade one American on the public dole, who will be permanently deported to the immigrant’s country of origin. Should immigrants violate their contracts and be deported, the Americans traded for them will not be allowed to return to the United States.
Fund-A-Shield is a compassionate charity that seeks to give appeasenik anti-war weenies the chance to realize their consciences. Qualified applicants will be awarded a one-way ticket to Iraq or Afghanistan, and will be transported to the areas of the highest combat so they can be human shields for all those poor, oppressed, marginalized, disenfranchised, disempowered little terrorists. Note that awardees may be subject to prosecution for treason if they are not killed and attempt to return to the United States.
Daily Burkha is another compassionate charity. The program will pay for qualified applicants to travel to Iraq or Afghanistan and live with a poor, oppressed, marginalized, disenfranchised, disempowered little fundamentalist Muslim family. Applicants must be female, liberal, anti-war, proponents of “diversity” and “multiculturalism” and CAIR advocates (protestors, “wimmin’s music” fans, women on the public dole, ANSWER and Tides-related activists, and university faculty will be given top priority). Like Fund-A-Shield, awardees are strongly encouraged to remain outside the United States; no round-trip tickets will be awarded. Applicants must sign a document that releases the Daily Burkha charity from all responsibility for injury, mutilation or death resulting from living in a poor, oppressed, marginalized, disenfranchised, disempowered little fundamentalist Muslim Shariah community (such as being pulled apart by horses, female genital mutilation, being beheaded for looking at a man, all those “culturally diverse” practices.)
Anyone interested in helping me set these charities up, or applying for any, should contact me.
